A Feel of Mexico

The air, the smells, the food, entertainment, and the white sand along with the blue ocean waters in Cancun were just unforgettable. I must say I was pleasantly surprised at the culture, history, and beauty of this place. It stirred in me the Mexican heritage I thought I had long forgotten. There were a few places I visited that caused me to rethink how I view my heritage. My family were waiting to hear me say how proud I was of it…and while I couldn’t deny their obvious welcoming of people and desire to give their best to all….I couldn’t but think of that passage that says “See to it that no one takes you captive through hollow and deceptive philosophy, which depends on human tradition and the basic principles of this world rather than on Christ.” ( Col 2:8.) How can I appreciate a culture that sometimes offends my Christian beliefs, without being a stumbling block to the unbeliever (in this case, my mother and siblings) watching my reactions? As I went site seeing and shared hours at the buffet lines, I couldn’t help but express my thankfulness to God for what he blessed us with, sometimes out loud, sometimes in my head.

While visiting this park called Xcaret, I was in awe of God’s creation while contemplating the breath taking views of the ocean. Everyone there was very proud of this place and after being there, I could see why. It had underground rivers, snorkeling sites, Mayan villages and all in a much conserved state (not an easy thing to do when this gets visited by thousands of people most everyday.) This ‘eco archaeological park’ was described to me as the equivalent of the “wall of china’…if you go to China you have to go see the wall, so if you come to Cancun you have to go to Xcaret. But this treasured site was not short of entertainment, it had a two hour show that truly was a “Celebration of Mexico”—it had me singing and dancing the songs and polka like dances I had grown up performing in school. It was educational and fun at the same time.

On another day I visited the Mayan ruins—Chichenitza. Here we hired a guy to give us a tour of the ruins, whom by the way spoke: Spanish, English, Italian, and little bit of Mayan…his trilingual skills really put me to shame. Anyway, much of what he said was in deed educational like how they Mayans through observation figured out the seasons of the year, months, and short of a day, how a year consisted of 364 days. Jorge (our guide) also mentioned how the Mayans have been found to have a lot in common with the Mongolian people and how Mongolians like Mayans have red birth marks on their lower back, sign that perhaps Mayans came from Mongolia….At this point, I knew my son Nathan had more of the look of a Mexican, but in case you’ve never changed his diaper, he has a mother size of a red birth mark right above his butt…Anyway, as I heard of the Mayan gods which were much like any other ancient culture, they worshiped man, the sun, the moon, and anything in between. I was once again reminded of our greater than life God of ours: He created the human race, but in our sin we traded God’s glory and worshiped created things rather than the Creator.

At the end of my vacation I didn’t walk away without hope, for here I am all because of God’s mercy bestow upon me and any of you claiming Christ as your Savior. Yes, I did reclaim my heritage, especially my language, and I saw it more clearly than ever before...My God given heritage could be used by God! My children should know Spanish and should want to get to know ‘my people’ for the sake of Christ. I came back reenergized and full of hope seeking for ways to pass down my heritage to my children--but with one great difference, Christ at the center of it.

(Written by Esme Randle, the ocassional writer of this blog...Jasmine says taskmaster of this blog...haha!!)

Witty Wednesday

Where did I come from :

"Dad, where did I come from?" asks this 10-years-old. The father was shocked that a 10 year old would be asking a question like that. He was hoping to wait a few more years before he would have to explain the facts of life, but he figured it was better a few years early than a few days too late, so, for the next two hours he explained every thing to his son. When he got finished, he asked his son what prompted his question to which his son replied, "I was talking to the new kid across the street and he said he came from Ohio, so I was just wondering where I came from."

A Gracious Woman's Speech

As I have been thinking about what a gracious woman looks like, I can't help but think about our speech. What is in the heart comes out of the mouth. Our words, the way we say them, the manner and motives in which they are used tell us a lot about ourselves. So, as I have been evaluating my life and level of graciousness if you will, I have had to examine my speech and must continually examine my speech.

If I am gracious then my speech will have a certain quality to it. It will be kind, gentle, tender, sweet, and useful. Proverbs 16:24-23 says: The heart of the wise instructs his mouth and adds persuasiveness to his lips. Pleasant words are a honeycomb, sweet to the soul and healing to the bones. So I ask myself after I have spoken to someone, did my words and tone of voice seem pleasant to them? Did it do their soul an ounce of good? Did it bring healing to what was broken in them? Or, did I add to their misery or provoke them to irritation or anger?

I Have been asking myself: How does my husband perceive my words when I ask him a question, appeal to him about a decision, give my "perspective" on a situation and so on. Do my words encourage and refresh him? Do my words give him insight at necessary times, or do I just think I'm insightful?

How does my speech affect my children? Does my speech communicate love for them? Does my manner of speech obscure my message? Does it promote peace and self-control, or strife and anger? As I have been observing my children's speech patterns, meaning, how they question, tone of voice, facial expressions, I am not only trying to help them see how it reveals their hearts but I am trying to evaluate what speech patterns they are emulating from the home. Their speech does reflect their own heart, but it is also at times a good indicator of what tones and words they hear the most.

I am also trying to evaluate how my words affect other people in general. After I am done talking with a friend has anything I said helped, encouraged, strengthened and blessed them? Or, have I been offensive, put them on the defense, irritated, or provoked them to anger? I am not saying that at times where truths are spoken there is never a provocation to anger that isn't caused by the speaker themselves, but as far as it was possible for me, did I express genuine humility, gentleness, love and concern - did I speak the truth in love?

Ephesians 4:29 says: Let no unwholesome word proceed out of your mouth, but only such a word as is good for edification according to the moment, so that it will give grace to those who hearer (emphasis added). This means our words will benefit the hearer. The hearer will walk away without lacking what was needed to press on, they will be built up in the faith. Our word will be what they needed to hear not just a speech to show off my knowledge so they walk away discouraged, overwhelmed, angry, and stiff-necked.

A gracious woman is obvious because her speech reflects her heart. Her speech will be gracious. This is the type of woman people want to talk to. They know they will be heard. They know she has their best in mind, her tone reflects that. Her children don't shrink back from her. Her husband takes comfort and encouragement and insight from her speech. She is easy to talk to because her words are seasoned just right. They are tasty as one commentator said. (Colossians 4:6)

If I destroy, discourage and irritate people continually, I am not gracious.

What does my speech reflect about me? Am I a gracious woman?

These are serious things on my mind. I have a lot evaluating to do.

Oh, Lord may your grace so effect my heart that my words will reflect that and give grace to those who hear me. Make me a gracious woman. Amen.

The Thundering Legion

This story was taken from Jesus Freaks by D.C. Talk and Voice of the Martyrs. It is found on pages 96-97. It took place in 320AD

"The Roman governor stood resolutely before the forty roman soldiers of the Thundering Legion. 'I command you t make an offering to the Roman gods. If you will not, you will be stripped of your military status.'
The forty soldiers all believed firmly in the Lord Jesus. They knew they must not deny Him or sacrifice to the Roman idols, no matter what the governor would do to them.
Camdidus spoke for the legion, 'Nothing is dearere or of greater honor to us than Christ our God.'
The governor then tried other tactics to get them to deny their faith. First heoffered them money and imperial honors. Then he threatened them with torments and torture with the rack and with fire.
Camididus replied, 'You offer us money that remains left behind and glory that fades away. Youseek to make us friends of the Emperor, but alienate us from the true King. We desire one gift, the crown of righteousness. We are anxious for the glory, the glory of the heavenly kingdom. We love honors, those of heaven.
You threaten fearful torments and call our godliness a crime, but you will not find us fainthearted or attached to this life or easily stricken with terror. For the love of God, we are prepared to endure any kind of torture.'
The governor was enraged. Now he wanted them to die a slow, painful death. they were stripped naked and herded to the middle of a frozen lake. He set soldiers to guard them to prevent any from coming to shore and escaping.
The forty encouraged each other as though they were going to battle. 'How many of our companions in arms fell on the battle front, showing themselves loyal to an earthly king? Is it possible for us to fail to sacrifice our lives in faithfulness to the true King? Let usnot turn aside, O warriors, let us not turn our backs in flight from the devil.' They spent the night couragiously bearing their pain and rejoicing in the hope of soon being with the Lord.
To increase the torment of he Christians, baths of hot water were ut around the lake. With these the governor hoped to weaken the firm resolve of the freezing men. He told them, 'You may come ashore when you are ready to deny your faith.' In the end, one of them did weaken, came off the ice, and got into a warm bath.
When one of the guards on the shore saw him desert, He himself took the lace of the traitor. Surprising everyone with the suddenness of his conversion, he threw off his clothes, and ran to join the naked ones on the ice, crying out loudly, 'I am a Christian!'

Some call it 'the mystery of martyrdom.' Why would seeing 39 believers who were willing to die for their faith inspire a highly-trained soldier, in the prime of his life, to join them in death? It seems so foreign to our American way of thinking. It is amazing to see how God works through these tragic situations to call more people to Himself."


This is the power of our God. The gospel is worth suffering and dying for. I love this story. I have an extremely vivid imagination and can picture 40 men, slowly freezing to death, encouraging eachother with Scripture, songs, calls to faithfulness, and reminders of what they are standing for. I can picture their despair as one of them finally gives in and deserts his faith. I can hear them calling to their brother, entreating him to come back, repent, and be saved. I can feel the chords around the guard's heart as God breaks them to reveal Himself. And I can feel joy with him as he chooses to sacrifice his own life in order to gain it.

The postscript at the end of the story is true. The guard choosing to join the dying men is very foreign to our minds. Why did he need to do that? No one knew that he had just been converted. He could easily have saved his life by simply keeping quiet. No one would ever have known. But he didn't. He truly believed that what he was witnessing was the truth, the ultimate truth, and he truly believed that Jesus was worth dying for. So instead of rationalizing how much better it would be for him to live, he chose to make the ultimate sacrifice and gave up his life.

Oh that we would take these examples to heart, that we would live as though the gospel is the dearest thing to us and that Jesus is worth living and dying for.

Fine Tuning Submission:

Recently my husband and I talked (again) about submission. He pointed out how submission to God and him involves a lot of humility, trust in God, and tiny little choices. Let me give you a little personal background information. I am generally a reserved person. I laugh and smile a lot in everyday situations, but when it comes down to a tense situation I tend to withdraw into myself and “go real quiet”. I am generally not a loud person and I really try hard not to say something that I’ll regret later, so I tend to clamp down my mouth, when in a confrontational situation or when I am displeased with a situation. This is especially how I react to my husband when I am frustrated or have my feelings hurt or am fearful, etc. He may ask what is wrong and my common response is that I am “having thoughts”. He’ll ask what kind of thoughts and I’ll tell him that I dealing with some things before the Lord and don’t want to talk about it just yet. (I am not saying this is a God honoring reaction, but it made sense to me until recently.)

Now here’s my reasoning for such a response. I am frustrated with him and don’t want to start an argument. I know that I am reacting (internally) with a sinful attitude and so am trying to confess that to God and “deal with it”, without blame shifting things towards my husband. And I will admit that sometimes I am holding onto that sinful response and excusing it, but I don’t want to outwardly admit it… so I subconsciously punish my husband through my silence. (That one is the hardest one to admit.)

Ryan challenged me. He said that I am contradicting God’s word as well as my own advice given to others. He pointed out how God calls us to confess and repent. And he said that we are not called to fight sin on our own. God says that we need other believers to help us and hold us accountable. Regarding the confession and repentance, he said that it is simple and goes something like this… “Ryan I am struggling with feelings of fear, distrust, and subsequent anger towards you. I know that it is sinful and shows that I do not trust God or you. Would you please forgive me?“ At which point he may choose to discuss the particulars of what is tempting this sinful reaction, or maybe he’ll pray with me, etc. Then I am called to actively repent of those sins through prayer, meditation on scripture, and various other “put-offs” that the bible calls us to. The feelings don’t change right away, but the fight is on to submit them to God’s will in a way that God will bless. But Ryan counseled that you don’t try to win the battle first and then confess. (At that rate, you will probably forget that you are in a battle and move on without ever having dealt with the sin fully before God and man. Or once you finally do get your feelings under control or just plain masked, you’ll forget to go back and confess.)

However, what I have been doing is trying to repent first and hopefully confess later. I have been trying to take those pride-based hurt feelings as well as my fears (distrust in God and not “believing all things” about my husband 1 Cor 13:7) to God before confessing my sin to my husband. In the meantime, I have reacted to my husband with various evidences of my displeasure, frustration, etc… and all the stuff that has been going through my head/heart (though it has not come out of my mouth) has effectively been communicated to my husband through my facial expression, body language, sometimes a sigh or sound of disgust, etc. So I have still acted out sinfully toward my husband, but in a way that I can rationalize or try to justify. (It sounds really holy when I say that I am giving my husband the silent treatment because I am praying over my own sin, don’t you think?) Plus, let me just say that when I am “dealing with it silently” I am less likely to go back and seek forgiveness for all those quiet “respectable” sins, because I haven’t technically sinned outwardly (or so the self-righteous would have you believe). How much have I really repented when I am still too prideful to humbly seek forgiveness? Not enough.

Plus this is ultimately a prideful way of “fighting sin”… which means that it won’t work because you can’t fight sin with sin. Why do I say that it’s a prideful way of fighting sin? Because in the above scenario, I am trying to cut my husband (my God given authority) out of the picture and “go it alone”. At the heart of the matter, I don’t want to tell him about my sin. As much as I hate to admit this, I kind of like thinking that I’m holy enough to deal with it on my own. (Whoa, there’s some dangerous thinking!) And while I’m quietly (or not so quietly) “waging war against the flesh” my husband is squirming under my silent mistreatment of him; so I get a bit of revenge too. This paints a really ugly picture of my sin, ladies and that’s what it is. But I suspect that I am not the only lady out there who is doing these same things and deceiving herself into thinking that it’s a God honoring reaction, just as I was.

So why is this a lack of submission? Because God in His sovereignty has given me authority. I am not some autonomous being able to think and act as I please. Nor are my thoughts (and facial expressions) my own to do with as I please. I am called to fully submit to my husband, which includes my thoughts and struggles, etc. When Ryan asks what is wrong, I don’t get to hold back a part of myself and say that I am not going to tell him. Nope, it’s all his: my mind, my body, everything. He will give an account to God for me someday, and I am going to really make it a bad experience for him if I am harboring sin in my mind and won’t submit that aspect of my life to him.

So the main point here is that I need to submit fully to my husband. That includes being open about my sin and struggles, so that he can help me fight the sin which so “easily entangles us”. And it also means that I have to recognize the “small sins” (such as pride, frustration, fear and even the silent treatment) as sin, and be willing to confess first and then promptly begin the process of repentance (now with the help and prayers of my husband). God will bless us when we submit to Him, His ways and His sovereignly placed authority such as our husbands! May we fight the good fight in the way that God has ordained it to be fought and as such won! God bless.

And the Winner Is......

Vicki Anderson, Linda Cate, Leila Aldrich, and Marie Mallach we thank you whole-heartedly for your participation in our How You Met Your Husband/How He proposed contest. Believe me when I say we laughed and cried. We are truly grateful for you allowing us to take a trip down memory lane with you. We appreciate the fact that you are willing to let the rest of this blog's readers partake in the joy that these memories must bring. All the stories were great. They were well-written and as unique as the people writing them. It was hard to select a grand "prize winner", but we said we would so we must.

Vicki Anderson gets her choice of Passionate Housewives Desperate for God or Passion and Purity.

As well as that, Vicki, Linda, Leila and Marie all are invited for a "girls night out" at Betsy Aldrich's house for dinner and a movie, chick flick of course, to show our deep appreciation for your stories and your friendship.

For our readers, enjoy.....

Vicki wrote:

I was 18 years old and fresh out of high school. I joined the Navy in Sept 1981 with four very important goals. First I wanted a good paying job, a car that ran, an apartment I could call my own, and I wanted to travel. The first place I wanted to live...............California.......... Sept 17th 1981 I left my home in the small town of Sumter, South Carolina for Navy boot camp in sunny Orlando,Florida. After several weeks of basic training and rethinking my goals IE.... wondering if I was crazy for joining the Navy, the Navy brought me to Great Lakes Naval Base for another 10 weeks of Hospital Corp school. I had only been at Great Lakes about two weeks when one evening myself and my roommates Tammy & Faye went to the chow hall for some of that fine Navy chow as we so affectionately referred to it then. We got our food and sat down at our little table. As God would have it I was sitting facing the chow line ( line filled with hungry people). As we sat there I noticed a cute red headed guy a ways back in the line.(or according to him strawberry blond) Anyway I thought he looked like one of my older sisters boyfriends who had also joined the Navy. (who I also had had a huge crush on in the past) So I naturally got up and walked down the line right to where he was,crossed in front of him to get a glass of soda and saw that he wasn't my sister's old boyfriend so I returned to my table with my roommates. We preceded to eat our fine Navy chow and the chow line continued moving past our table. As this cute strawberry blond guy got closer to our table I began to notice he was looking right at me. I mean he was not taking his eyes off me to the point where I was feeling a little embarrassed. Finally as he got close to our table he walked straight over to me leaned over and said to me, " want to go to a movie sometime?" to which I said sure. A few minutes later after he had gotten his food tray he comes back over to my table and says to me, by the way, my name is John but my friends call me Opie then he went and sat down with a bunch of other girls............. In my mind I was thinking that guys got a alot of nerve asking me out then going and sitting down with a table full of girls. Mean while my roommates were pitching a fit because I had just agreed to go to a movie with a complete stranger.... Anyway the next day after classes John came and asked me to go to a movie that night, which we did. Since we were students & living in the barracks (mine was an all women's barracks. No guys allowed). John literally had to ring a door bell and the duty watch girl would have to come to my room on the 3rd floor to tell me I had a visitor. Then we walked to the base theater and saw our first movie, "ENDLESS LOVE". The next four weeks we spent having that fine free Navy Chow together, nights at the movies, breaks between classes, studing for tests, shoveling snow for the Navy and walking out on the ice of Lake Michigan. (John spent much time and energy trying to convince me that (1) walking on the ice of Lake Michigan was safe.....and (2) That I should forget California and ask to go to Newport, Rhode Island so we would be stationed together. Being a little more daring in those days I did venture out on the ice But no way was I giving up my dream of living in California. John was not happy about this but my thinking was that if we were meant to be no matter what I put on my dream sheet God would have His way..........(God did have His way but that's another story) Anyway after a lot of tears and discussion we continued on seeing each other. We were now into the middle of December, John was graduating and heading home to Michigan for Christmas leave in a few days then on to Marine training in North Carolina in January. I was preparing to go home for Christmas but returning in January to finish Hospital Corp school sometime in February. Anyway as our time together was coming to an end early Saturday morning December 19th I was awaken by girl friends living across the hall from me saying ,GET UP YOU HAVE GOT TO COME AND SEE THIS, so I did. I went over to my friends room because there room faced the field between my barracks & the barracks John lived in. When I looked out the window and down at the field I saw John standing there Proudly with a very red face and a big smile pointing at something in the snow. With his own feet in big clear letters he had managed to write in the snow ," I love you and will you marry me". I was speechless and 3 floors up. When I came down and saw John I knew I loved him But getting married was not in my plan and we had only known each other 4 weeks. For the next several days prior to him leaving Great lakes he kept trying to convince me that only knowing each other 4 weeks didn't matter. But I wasn't budging. Finally 5:30 pm December 22nd John came to say good-bye. He was leaving But my man was so persistent. Now he had a rose in his hand and he was on one knee. It was truely one of the most beautiful winter nights I have ever seen, the snow was falling like rain and there we were. I budged a little and said I have to think about it............His response," Maybe a definite yes".............Then he said every letter I write you I'm going to keep asking until you say yes.... I went home for Christmas for 2 weeks told my family about this crazy guy who wanted to get engaged. And said no way am I getting married............ Back at school January 2nd 1982, School was a different and so was I. Suddenly I knew what I wanted and I just knew it was was too late... Two days later we had our first mail call and I got 2 long letters from John reminding me how much he loved me and wanted to marry me. I wasted no time writing him back and telling him How much I loved him and twenty-six years later its all history..............................

Marie wrote:

I met Tim about 15 years ago. I worked with his sister Laura and she was getting married. I saw him at her wedding and thought he was cute and shy, we did not meet then. So I asked her to ask him if he would like to meet for coffee. We met it was nice, he was very shy, we both liked the outdoors, hiking ect. He met my dog and fell in love with her (Snuffles), He always said that he married me for my dog (he called her his step-dog)

We just decided to get married, had an outdoor wedding with friends and family.

Linda wrote:
It was Easter Sunday 1991. Rick and I had been attending both our churches together. On this Sunday he was acting a little strange, but I didn't know him well enough to suspect anything. After the service he urged me to go help Ruth Aldrich. Ruth was acting strange, too. She asked me to help her go around the church property to pick up any stray toys or Easter eggs that she had put out for the children to hunt but that they had overlooked. We had somewhere to be after church, either a celebration with his family or mine, so I couldn't understand Rick's prodding, but I finally acquiesced. Ruth insisted that we go out the seldom-used east door of the north side of the church. In the meantime, Rick had disappeared and was nowhere to be found. I grudgingly ((yes, I was still very self-centered!) followed Ruth out the door, which put us directly in front of the church sign on 52nd St. There to my complete surprise stood Rick, beside the CHURCH sign which read, "LINDA, WILL YOU MARRY ME? RICK"! Well, I was utterly shocked and honestly, somewhat embarrassed. I felt that it was totally inappropriate, but we all know what my answer was. Praise God that the Lord led Matt to our Body and we have received true, good teaching since then. :)

Lelia wrote:
So, here goes the story of how Randy proposed. It all started more than 12 years ago. I was attending Northwestern College in Orange City, IA. When I came home on breaks and for the summer, I would attend Temple with my cousin Judy Love. At the time Temple had "cell groups" and Judy invited me to her group, which Randy was a member of. At the time Randy was dating someone else, but our mutual love for tennis and volleyball led us to become friends. I had just graduated from college and was now back in Kenosha for good, and as the Lord would have it Randy was now single. We began hanging out more often, getting to know each other better and better. As our friendship grew there was one thing keeping us from moving on to something more, I was not saved. Randy being a wise Christian man new he could not marry a woman who was not also a Christian. The Lord saw fit to save me and I was baptized. This opened the door to take our relationship from just friends to possibly something more. It appeared we were "dating" as Pastor Matt was not at Temple yet and we were not educated on "courting". Several months go by and I am unsure of where we stand, are we just friends hanging out a lot or are we looking to have a future together. One night I asked him where we stood, were we "dating" or were we just friends? Were we exclusive or should I keep my options open so to speak? At the time I just wanted to be Randy's "girlfriend", and the Lord saw fit to make it official. So, it's official, now comes all the helpful people talking about marriage and kids. Randy was not going to be pressured into a proposal, he was waiting for God's timing. A year or so goes by and people, myself included, have pretty much given up on a proposal coming anytime soon, well Randy surprises us all. It is New Year's Eve and we our celebrating with Randy's family at his parents house. As the clock strikes midnight Randy gets down on one knee and asks me to marry him. As I say yes and he slips the ring on my finger, we are covered with silly string. As we our about to celebrate our 10 year anniversary, I thank the Lord for giving me wonderful husband unlike any other.

Witty Wednesdays : Contractor Joke

Last year I replaced all the windows in my house with that expensive double-pane energy efficient kind, and today, I got a call from the contractor who installed them. He was complaining that the work had been completed a whole year ago and I still hadn't paid for them.

Hellloooo ........... just because I'm a woman doesn't mean that I am automatically stupid.

So, I told him just what his fast talking sales guy had told me last year; that in ONE YEAR these windows would pay for themselves!

Helllooooo? It's been a year! I told him.

There was only silence at the other end of the line, so I finally just hung up. He never called back. Guess I won that stupid argument.

I bet he felt like an idiot.

A Gracious Woman Loves and Follows Jesus

The gracious woman attains honor - the merciful man does himself good. This is taken from Proverbs 11. Last Tuesday we looked at what it means to be gracious. I have been thinking about this a lot lately. Is graciousness the aroma that permeates what I say and do? Gracious living obviously benefits me and it magnifies who God is and manifests His work of grace in my life to others. If I am going to be a gracious woman, I need to remember Jesus. I need to look at Him and meditate deeply upon His life and death and resurrection; and on His work's effect on me and all mankind.

As I have endeavored to think more deeply about Jesus as Pastor Matt exhorted us to a few weeks ago, humility has been on the forefront of my mind. I am recognizing how little I pursue humility and even understand what humility is as I look at Jesus. I have become convinced that unless humility is present to some degree in my life, graciousness (kindness, usefulness, tenderness, mildness, compassion) will absolutely not be present. If my family, friends and others see me as an ungracious person (unkind, useless, harsh, hard nosed, haughty, etc.) in my speech, actions and attitudes, I can be certain I am not pursuing humility. I might even question to what degree I love and follow Jesus - do I even have the right to say I do without bringing shame to His name? If I want to be a gracious woman, I need a major helping of humble pie! Humility is key to being gracious.

Proverb 11:2 says: When pride comes, then comes dishonor, but with the humble is wisdom. A proud woman will never attain honor because God gives grace to the humble, but He opposes the proud; He will ultimately dishonor them ( 1 Peter 5:5 ). I want humility in order to be given grace - the grace I need daily from God. If I want to start pursuing humility I need to start by pursuing Jesus.

Philippians 2:5-8 says: Have this attitude in yourselves which was also in Christ Jesus, who, although He existed in the form of God, did not regard equality with God a thing to be grasped, but emptied Himself, taking on the form of a bond-servant, and being made in the likeness of men. Being found in appearance as a man, He humbled Himself by becoming obedient to the point of death, even death on a cross. This Jesus we claim to follow and love dearly was humble. His great humility is worthy be exalted and ultimately was by the Father. This humility that caused Him to be obedient to the point of dying an incredibly shameful and excruciating death on behalf of those who hate Him, shun Him, and disobey Him has given a hope that does not disappoint. (Romans 5:5) Jesus is our hope of eternal salvation. It is all according to His grace. And in order to say we love and follow Jesus we must pursue Jesus by pursuing humility. I can say that a gracious woman loves and follows Jesus because He was the ultimate example of what I call extreme humility; and if we love Him we will follow this gracious and humble example and delight in doing so.

Everything that is said from here on out about what a gracious woman looks like, will flow from humility that is a result of loving and following Jesus.

Oh, Lord please transform me into a gracious woman so that you are highly exalted and your great love, mercy, and compassion for sinners is obvious to those around me. Amen!

Members of a Body - Part 1

I have attended the same church since I was ten years old; Temple is pretty much my only church 'experience.' Because of this, it is relatively easy for me to forget that there is a whole world of other Christians outside of my little bubble called Temple Baptist Church.
Thankfully, our church has always tried to be very conscious of the church as a whole. We have been very involved in missions and are constantly reminded of our missionaries and their churches. But it is still hard to picture a church outside of my own church body.
Last month I had the opportunity to visit two good churches: Sovereign Grace Church and Bethlehem Baptist Church. It was an awesome experience for three reasons.
1. I got to learn some new songs! Both churches sang songs that I had never heard before. I love to worship through singing and so it was really cool to learn some new ones.
2. Both churches had much bigger congregations than Temple. This was really neat because I was surrounded by a huge group of brothers and sisters in Christ I never knew existed. I just kept thinking, 'These are people I will spend all eternity with!' The entire service felt like a warm-up for when we will spend all of our time in worship to our Lord together.
3. Last but not least, both churches were full of unfamiliar people. I was enabled to easily worship with nothing else on my mind. I wasn't thinking about all the people I needed to talk to, I didn't need to check on anything, there were no fires for me to put out and no checklist for me to complete. I was able to just sit back and worship and it was so nice!
All in all, it was a hugely encouraging experience for me. It enabled me to take a few steps back and look at the big picture more clearly than I ever had before. It reminded me that there are real people out there I don't ever realize exist who are walking in the same faith, pursuing the same goal, and running in the same race as I am. Throughout all the thoughts that this train of thought provoked, the most prominent were those of the persecuted church.
If you don't already get the Voice of the Martyr Magazine, you should. Its absolutely free but its contents are priceless. The VOM ministry works to provide relief to the persecuted church around the globe and to promote awareness of the persecuted church to the non-persecuted church. The magazine will keep you updated on current happenings so that your prayers can be focused and purposeful. It also provides you with opportunities to write letters and/or sign petitions regarding our persecuted brothers and sisters.
Another way I like to keep the persecuted church in mind is by reading the Jesus Freaks books. There are two of them now that VOM put together along with D.C. Talk. Both books are a collection of true stories of people who stood firm in their faith through unspeakable persecutions. Most of the stories end with the people ultimately sacrificing their lives in order not to deny their faith. The stories are usually very short; almost all are between one and three pages long.
I am going to share some of these stories with you over the next few Mondays. I am doing this for several reasons. First, I think it is really important for us to remember the fact that we are not alone. It is so easy for us to get wrapped up in our own comfortable lives and forget that there are people out there dying for their faith every day. We can't just shut this truth out, we have to keep it in our minds. It will inevitably steer us to a more sober life and hopefully embolden us to share the gospel as never before as we read of people who shared the gospel and were then killed because of it. What is the worst that will happen to us? We may get laughed at.
Second, I believe that we have a responsibility to these Christians. We have the responsibility to lift them up daily in our prayers. We have the responsibility to pray that they would remain strong in their faith. We have the responsibility to pray for family members left behind. We have the responsibility to pray for strength for these people.
Finally, it should make you passionate for your faith. Whenever I find myself struggling for joy, I read some of these stories. You cannot read these stories and remain cold-hearted. It reminds you that there is more to our life than changing diapers, picking up toys, and washing dishes. We are part of the body of Christ and our faith is worth suffering and dying for!
Please join me in the next several weeks as we remember the persecuted church. Let us keep our brothers and sisters in prayer and use their examples to furthur us in our own walks of faith.

Three boys and a box…

Boys are so much fun. This week’s fascination is a box. It is a BIG box, but still a box. My husband bought me a new range/stove and when it was delivered, I asked the delivery man if we could keep the box. I thought back to childhood memories of when my dad had brought some similar big boxes home and we played house in them and various other calm girlish things … as such I was excited to present it to my boys.

It went like this “Check this out boys… It’s a really big box!” They (naturally) responded with “woo-hoo”‘s between the three of them (ages 13, 11, and 9) and the fun commenced. But they don’t do the expected things with the box. They have “cage wrestling matches” inside of the box. (We don’t have TV stations so they’ve never witnessed this. This must be part of boy DNA!) They turn it on its side and do their school in the box: reading, math, etc. (Though only two can fit in it at once, so they have to take turns.) They turn it over so it’s entirely covering one of them and then beat on the outside of the box. (Why? I dunno! I’m a girl, remember!) They weigh too much so none of them can sit on top of the box, or they’d do that too! They lie in the box and roll it around the room like it was a barrel (it’s gotten less box-like and more rounded at the seams). Altogether, they’ve had a lot of fun in that box. But as the saying goes, “This too shall pass.” And it has. The box died today. Along with my three sons, I was taking care of Esme’s four boys: all of which are less than 4 years old. They too, joined in the fun... and that was the "last straw". The box surrendered. It breathed its last. It now is a smashed pile of cardboard remains in my front yard, waiting for garbage day. Oh well. It was fun while it lasted. Once again I am reminded that boys are full of new experiences and I am so blessed to have my three boys, especially! Have a great weekend everybody and enjoy the “boxes of life” while they last!

Ants, Work, and Concrete

First of all, I would like to apologize for the mix-up yesterday resulting in no Witty Wednesday being posted. Some stuff came up, and emails didn't get looked at in time.....
So today I have a video for you to watch. Jasmine showed it to me a while back. It won't make you laugh but you will enjoy it. While you are watching, keep these verses in mind:
"6Go to the ant, O sluggard,
Observe her ways and be wise,
7Which, having no chief,
Officer or ruler,
8Prepares her food in the summer
And gathers her provision in the harvest.
and the verses in Luke,

6"Are not five sparrows sold for two cents? Yet not one of them is forgotten before God.

7"Indeed, the very hairs of your head are all numbered. Do not fear; you are more valuable than many sparrows.

Think about these verses and marvel at the Creator who intelligently designed these ants in an amazing way!

A Gracious Woman

Proverbs 11:16-17 A gracious woman attains honor, and ruthless men attain riches. The merciful man does himself good, But the cruel man does himself harm.


What are you pursuing in order to obtain a good name? It says in Proverbs that a good name is to be desired. Of course not for our own sakes only as is often our motive, but for the name of Jesus. I know that I am not the only woman who wants to have a good reputation, but what I want to know what type of person does God honor? Too often we look at our culture and into our own minds/hearts to define what we will pursue to obtain honor. This is true of the church; this is true of me. Do we not often think, a person who is honorable, exalted, worthy of praise, is the doctrinal diva, the truth telling tyrant, the no-nonsense- matter-of-fact-quick-passioned-bully. Now..... we don't say it that way, but that seems to be the way it works out.


Proverbs says that it is the gracious woman who obtains honor. To be gracious means to be pleasantly kind, benevolent (useful, doing good), merciful, compassionate, tender, mild, gentle! This is by no means a call to throw out truth, but there is a God exalting way, that apparently benefits our own reputations, to handle truth.


We are called to be kind in order to avoid dishonoring the word of God. (Titus 2) The Law of kindness is to drip from our tongues, not just the law!(Proverbs 31:26)

I want to be a gracious woman. I know my sisters in Christ want to be too.

So, Lord willing, in the next few Tuesdays I am going to work through what it means to be a gracious woman. You can come a long for the ride if you like! :)

Be A Light

As many of you know, I work in a deli. I would like to tell you a story about a young high school girl I work with. We will call her Emma.

Emma goes to church (sometimes), attends a youth group, and just recently took off a week of work to go on a missions trip. She is not overly outspoken about her faith and its definition, but does often mention that she is "hanging out with her friends from youth group" or "needs to leave a little early today because we are having a missions trip meeting." She is a nice person, dresses modestly, and doesn't swear. So what is the point?

Simply this: Emma is one of our worst sandwich girls. She is incredibly slow and almost always does a sloppy job. She mixes up customer's orders, burns sandwiches, and runs out of food. She has been reprimanded many times and has a growing number of restrictions being put upon her. The most recent is that she is no longer allowed to answer the phone (because she simply cannot be trusted to accurately take down orders), which is usually supposed to be the sandwich girl's top priority.

Why am I telling you this? Because this young girl professes to be a Christian. All of the other sandwich girls know Emma and talk to Emma. They know she goes to church and is even committed enough to go on missions trips and hang out regularly at youth group. But they all hate her! None of them like her. She is lazy and causes them extra work. They collectively groan if they hear Emma is working that day and make many jokes about her behind her back.

It has been on my mind a lot lately that Emma, whether she knows it or not, is being a witness to these girls. The problem is that she is being a bad witness!

The Bible commands us to "do our work as heartily unto the Lord" and urges us to do "whatever our hand finds to do, do it with all your might." We are told that fruits of the spirit include patience and faithfulness. We are commanded to be the ambassadors of Christ.

None of Emma's co-workers want to be like her. None of them. And all of them know that Emma claims to be a Christian.

Please do not be like Emma. Please do not be the person at work that no one likes to see show up and everyone loves to see go home. Rather, be the person that outworks everyone else. Be the one who is always cheerful, who never talks behind backs, who is always part of the solution and never the problem. Be the employee the boss loves to employ. Be every supervisor's dream.

I have had many opportunities to witness to people at my work because of these types of things. I do not claim to be God's gift to the work force, but I do believe in working hard and I do believe in giving all the glory to God. Lately, though, my witness has been tarnished. My co-workers are wondering if maybe I am simply a fluke, that the fact I work hard and stay cheerful is just my personality and has nothing to do with this God I talk about.

For those of you who don't work, the same principles apply. Don't be the person at small groups always causing controversy. When there is a get-together at church, be the first to volunteer to stay late and help clean up. When you take the kids out to the restaurant, pleasantly surprise the restaurant employees by keeping your children under control. Speak pleasantly to people in line at the grocery store.

You never know when God will give you an opportunity to publicly praise His name. Don't ruin your chances before hand because you are having a bad day and don't think snapping on a few strangers is really going to matter.

Remember, we are called to be the light of the world. And we can not do this when we are offending the people around us. 1st Peter 3:17 "For it is better, if God should will it so, that you suffer for doing what is right rather than for doing what is wrong." If the people at work don't like you, let it be because you work so hard that you make them look bad. If the servers at the restaurant don't like you, let it be because they are jealous that you have your kids under such great control.

We are always around people, people who are watching to see just what is a Christian, really. And people always remember the bad longer than they remember the good. Don't let the name of Jesus be tarnished because of us.

Take the example of my mom. I love her and she is a much wiser woman than me. I remember one day, we were driving down the road and the person in front of us was really an idiot. She clearly did not know how do drive, how to read road (including speed) signs, and was swerving around her lane a lot. We did not feel safe. After only a moment of driving behind her, my mom and I noticed that she had one of those fish on the back of her car. My mom sighed and said that this was the reason she would never get one of those fish on her car. She was afraid that one day she wouldn't be paying attention, that she would cut someone off, or get angry, or run a red light, and that someone would see it and see the fish and associate it with Christianity and ultimately with Jesus. And she decided that the small fun of having a fish on the back of her car was too much of a risk of possibly (inadvertently) defaming the name of her Lord. And so she has no fish.

Let us decide today to put aside our pride and our hurry and instead be mindful of the fact that we are ambassadors of our Lord. And let us boldly and proudly declare His gracious work in our lives.

4th of July Pictures

Esme put together this slideshow of pictures that she took during our church picnic. Enjoy

Note: you have to use the match to light the firework to start it...that took me a while to figure out. Hopefully you are all smarter than I am, but just in case. :)

Make a Smilebox slideshow

Needing a Hero…

Recently I watched the move “The Guardian” (which is about Coast Guard rescue swimmers) at the recommendation of my brother-in-law Johnny (who is a Coast Guard helicopter mechanic who also rides third seat and operates the winch in the rescue helicopters). This movie really stirs up your emotions and also causes me to really respect the heroic actions of the men and women of our military. It raises in me a longing for a hero.

What is a hero? Well in this movie it is someone who ultimately sacrifices everything to rescue the person who is drowning or shipwrecked, etc. They undergo harsh training and long hours of exposure to the elements in order to be made ready/capable of doing their job of being a rescue swimmer… of being a hero. These people don’t get great pay or lots of recognition but they do the really important job of saving lives. In this particular movie at least one character dies so that they can save someone else’s life. Watching this gets a mixed reaction from me. First (of course) I cry… how sad that he had to die to rescue the other person. Second, I try to solve the situation that brought about his death… “What if they had just done… then no one would have had to die”. Third, I am filled with a sense of honor for the real hero’s in this world.

Then my mind turns to spiritual things. I know of a real hero. I too was rescued from spiritual death. My hero was Jesus. My hero had to undergo harsh training and long hours of exposure to the elements, as well as temptation and hardship as part of His preparation for the task of rescuing the lost ones. He had to sacrifice everything in order to fulfill His calling of being the Hero. He didn’t just leave some cozy house to jump into a freezing cold ocean to rescue peoples’ lives; He left Heaven and all His glory in order to come to earth to rescue peoples’ souls and to exalt the justice of God to His glory. He wasn’t one sinful guy dying to rescue another sinful guy, He was a sinless God/Man who would die to save the sinful guy and in the process make him righteous. He’s a Hero on a MUCH BIGGER LEVEL! He doesn’t just save a guy and set him loose to do his own thing; He saves him and makes him new. He gives him a new heart, new desires and the Holy Spirit to guide him, and then sets him loose into society to go out and rescue the perishing with His words of life, too.

Now remember my reaction to the movie? I have a similar reaction to these thoughts. First I am sad… how sad (on a much grander scale) that Jesus had to die to rescue/save me and all the rest of His sheep. Second, I try to solve it… “If we just hadn’t sinned in the garden…" (Stupid, I know). Third, I am filled with a sense of honor and respect for Jesus my hero… the REAL hero. But there are other effects, too. I am humbled that the mighty one, the perfect one would sacrifice so much to save one so worthless. I am filled with thanks and praise that my Heavenly Father would give up His Beloved Son Jesus to save us prodigal children: filthy, vile, rebellious, slanderous enemies that we were. I am reminded and as such encouraged in remembering that Jesus doesn’t save us and then leave us to return to our past lives of sin. He sent the Holy Spirit to guide and convict us, so I can trust that He is at work in me and the fellow believers around me… which puts to rest my fears and anxieties.

I am reminded of a few verses… Matthew 10:28 "Do not fear those who kill the body but are unable to kill the soul; but rather fear Him who is able to destroy both soul and body in hell.” This reminds me that it’s not the physical that is so important but the spiritual and God is the one I am accountable to. As well as ... Romans 8:32 "He who did not spare His own Son, but delivered Him over for us all, how will He not also with Him freely give us all things?" This reminds me that God was willing to send His own Son to be our Hero… so He’ll also send everything else that we need. He really is a finisher! He saves us fully and completes His work. What an awesome God we serve and what an awesome Hero, Jesus is!

Witty Wednesday

Jasmine and I have adopted the line "we need to go PROCESS..." from Chonda Pierce, whenever we like to get together just to have fun (which getting together for coffee is our idea of fun), it's our way to make it sound necessary...and of course funny. Next week I'm headed to see my siblings and mother in Cancun and I had to tell Jon when I was planning the trip, "Jon, I need to go process...my thoughts that is." He had seen the video so he just shook his head, he didn't think I was that funny. Anyway, enjoy "The Honeymoon Package"!

9 Years Ago ....

The 4th of July is very special to me for many reasons. Betsy made some very good points about our country that I can say Amen to. It was a good time to rejoice with my church family and meditate on our eternal relationship where we will someday be rejoicing forever before our Lord and savior, Jesus Christ.

This day is also a neat day for me because 9 years ago on this very day, Rick and I were engaged. It was a Sunday. Rick asked me to go out to lunch with him after church and a little to my surprise it was to be just the two of us. Normally we went with his family, friends, or over to my house with my family. I remember going to Applebees and talking about going down to the lake to see the fireworks with the rest of the church. Afterward we went back to church so I could pick up my car and go home, but when I got out of his car he asked me to take a walk with him around the neighborhood and I agreed. We walked for a bit and then headed back to the church parking lot. All I know is before we reached the parking lot I had a ring on my finger and we were talking about when to set the date for the wedding!

We ended up going to my house to talk to my family , then to his parents to reveal the news. We were greeted at his parents house by his brothers, their families and if memory serves me, a few families from church. After all the picture taking and talking we went over to the Henry's to tell them our news and then on to the Stocker's. It was a pretty full day before we finally got to the fireworks. By the time we got there everybody knew and many were shocked, because although we never intended our courtship to be a secret, very few people were aware of it. We had been courting for all of 5 months. But that's a story for another day! We were married 3 months later and we have been able to look back and rejoice in the God who brought us together.

So for me these last nine years, Independence Day has not only been a day to celebrate our God given freedoms in this country but a day to reflect and rejoice in God giving me the best guy a girl can ask for!

It's fireworks everyday for me! :)

Contest!

The girls and I have decided to hold out two more weeks on our 'How My Husband Proposed' Contest. We also decided to make it a little easier for you. Betsy said that perhaps this topic was a little too limiting and suggested that we extend it to include stories of how you met your husband. We really want to read your stories! Don't worry, we aren't expecting a book, just a few lines about how you met the love of your life and/or how he asked you to spend the rest of your life with him.

I am going to share the story of how my parents got engaged. Hopefully it will make you laugh - and eager to shoot us an email with your own story. You can email us at: truewomenblog@gmail.com.

When my dad was dating my mom way back when, he used to have a pretty full beard. As a result, when it came time for the Easter play at their church, he was the obvious candidate to play Jesus. Which he did. My mom came to watch them and afterwards, as they were standing in the parking lot getting ready to leave, out of no where my dad says, "Kim, will you marry me?" He says that he wasn't planning on asking her that and as the words were leaving his mouth he was kind of panicked, like, what am I saying?? My beloved mother laughed at him. She thought he was joking! My dad's confusion and slight panic changed quite suddenly to hurt as he hastened to clarify that he wasn't joking, he meant what he had asked. After which, my mom replied with a resounding 'Yes!' And the rest is history!

I love this story. It is so typical of my family. Only a Henry would accidentally propose and only a Selzer would laugh. And I am a mix of both!

I am happy to report that they are still happily married to this day and still very much in love. If you know my parents you should ask them to tell you this story one day. First of all, they were there so they can tell it better. But its also really cute to watch how excited my dad gets while he is telling it, and how sometimes my mom blushes.

So here you go, two more weeks to tell your own stories! They can be longer or shorter than mine. Funnier or sweeter than mine. We want to hear them all!

America…

I love America. I love being an American. We are so privileged here in our country! Even the poorest of the poor is rich when compared to most other nations in the world. We have many conveniences at our finger tips and in our homes which many other countries either don’t have or have only on a limited basis. We have police officers, firemen, rescue squad workers, and great hospitals to meet our needs as well as to serve our cities. We have courageous military personnel that are always ready to serve and protect our freedom as well as those who cannot protect themselves. We have a rich heritage that our country was founded upon. We have every opportunity to achieve our dreams in America which can be used to further the gospel and support missionaries as well as local ministries. Or if we so desire, we can be the missionaries, pastors, teachers, servers, etc. that will so make a difference for Christ’s name in this world. We have nothing holding us back except ourselves when it comes to living in the USA. I love it!

What opportunity and hope lies ahead of a child of God in this nation! I can bring up my children freely to follow Jesus and to seek to bring Jesus to this lost and dying generation. I can send them out into this world as carpenter “missionaries”, doctor “missionaries”, school teacher “missionaries”, military “missionaries”, etc. and I know that the harvest is still plentiful, just as it was in Jesus’ time. Even in everyday experiences I see God’s blessings upon this nation and I praise Him that He has put us where we are and called us to minister in the way He has.

Tomorrow we will go to a picnic at our church to celebrate our nation’s freedom. Later we will go down to Lake Michigan and watch the fireworks. I will think of our national anthem and be pleased and proud to be an American. I will think of how our freedom was won by brave men willing to fight for what was right and I will honor them. I will think of how much greater it will be to be a citizen of Heaven. I will thank God for His gracious hand and His wonderful blessings that lead us to think on Him and worship. I hope you will too!

Witty Wednesday

Life with my Calvin is never dull. He keeps us laughing on a daily basis, whether he is making goofy faces, making up his own little songs, or imagining weird creatures live with us despite what his sister says. You never know what will come out of his mouth.

A while back he came excitedly out of the bathroom insisting God had spoken to Him while he was doing his business on the toilet. "What did He tell you?" I asked. "He said to obey my mom and dad, love Him and follow Jesus". He was quite pleased with himself and was totally serious. My daughter Noelle on the other hand feeling theologically superior, retorted, "God doesn't speak to you while you are pooping on the toilet, Calvin, He speaks to you through His word!" Do you think Calvin received and considered his sisters correction? Not a chance! He simply put his hands on his hips, gave her one of his goofy looks and said, "Well He speaks to me." And off to the next adventure of the day he went.

I by no means lead a dull life with this guy!

Children: Joy or Drudgery?

Mothering is a beautiful topic that I find very interesting to read, hear and think about. When it comes to parenting children the world has a lot to say to us. The time and place where we live, our culture, tends to shape the way we think and how we approach motherhood. It is hard to escape this, but we must! Because we must understand and act upon the way God views children and mothering. God's word is clear on the subject; therefore we must become students of the word.

It is clear that God wants us to love our children tenderly and truly enjoy being moms. By loving, or enjoying our children we honor the word of God, we are glorifying Him.

In thinking about this I began to wonder why it seems hard to sustain this joy, this love. This is my feeble attempt at zeroing in on a few of the major joy killers in the life of a mommy and then how to fight for the joy God intended.

It seems to me in my life anyway that there are 4 biggies:

1. We do not meditate deeply on the love of God.

2. We allow our culture to give us our view of children rather than the word of God.

3. We neglect to raise them for God His way.

4. Pride.

For more go here.



Contest reminder