Family Fun Photos

Today we went for a walk (with our boys) to the park. Though Ryan is laid off from work right now, we are thankful for the extra time we all get to spend together. We can take these type of outings at our leisure! My boys were thankful because they got the day off of their schooling, too! So here are some of the pictures from our adventure!

Aaron is in the blue shirt(11). Austin is in the red shirt(9). Aidan is in the gray shirt(13).

“It’s Not a Tumor, It’s a Baby!!”

At 47 years of age most women are anticipating the empty nest, or perhaps even grand- children, but in my mother’s case she was well on her way to having yet another baby, and did I mention she had 8 children already?! After having had eight children my mother claims that her tenth pregnancy went unnoticed…She said her stomach was growing, but figured-- it was a tumor, because there was no movement and for all practical purposes she couldn’t have been pregnant…! Eventually she got scared and went to see the doctor (for the first time mind you, she had never seen a doctor for any of her previous pregnancies), and her doctor gave her the news and let’s just say; it was not what she was expecting. Her stomach was growing alright, but not because of a tumor, but because a baby was well on its way!! The doctor (as my mom recalls) had a hard time convincing her that she was expecting…and not a mass of tissue, but a bundle of work…and who could blame her?! Her husband was a full blown alcoholic unable to support his family, which made her depend mostly on her grown sons to help her support her very young crowd still living at home. Although shocked and shaken by the news, she pressed on and gave me a chance at living.

I hope I never have to find out what it means to have a child at 47 years of age. But over the years my view and appreciation for my mother has drastically changed. As a child I didn’t like being asked “why does your mother looks more like your grandmother?” As a teenager I tried to make my mother as small a part of my life as I could. Shame and awkwardness are a better description of our relationship growing up. With time and years of watching her devotion to not only her children but to her husband (though a hindrance at times), my own experiences as a mother, and of course, the Holy Spirit, I have been allowed to see how dear and precious she truly is to me. I’m blessed to still have her. She used to tell me that she wouldn’t make it to my 15th birthday…not only did she make it, but she now watches me watch my own children and imitate the hard work she so faithfully thought me.

Every year when it comes time to celebrate how much older I’m getting; I just want to celebrate her, not me! I’m reminded of the strength and the courage that it must’ve taken to see that pregnancy through and the extra hard work she had to endure in the years that followed. But more importantly, I am reminded of our good Shepherd, the odds were against me, but He went after me and found me. I just pray He goes looking for my mom too. Amen.

Witty Wednesday

My oldest son Jackson wanted to help Calvin stop sucking his thumb. He told Calvin that he should remember that Mr. Tim ( Brittany's husband) said that if he kept sucking his thumb German girls would come and cut his thumbs off! “ And we know some real Germans” he said ( meaning Angela and Simone). Calvin's response? “ There is no such thing as Germans”!

Calvin hasn't sucked his thumb in 6 days, I am not sure if it is based on this German fairy tale Tim told; and Jackson related to Calvin or the nail biter stuff. :)

Not Nearly Humble Enough

As our Pastor has been preaching on humility, what has struck me the most is how little humility I see in my own life. Compared to Jesus I am not humble at all. Our Pastor has made it clear that we are just pursuing humility this side of heaven. When looking at the extreme humility of Jesus I can become discouraged. Everything He ever said or did as He walked upon this earth was done in an attitude of humility! This includes criticizing the Pharisees and tearing apart the booths and driving out the sellers at the Temple. When I say or do things, like rebuke and say hard words is it really from a heart that is driven to exalt God and with the attitude that is putting the needs the person that I might be correcting above my own? Do I listen when others correct me? Must I always be right? How often do I argue in person or via email, when someone doesn't see things my way? How easily are my feelings hurt when my input isn't wanted or ignored? These are not fun questions to answer. Pastor Matt has the list of questions he asked us to consider during one of the sermons during this series on hisXanga.

An area I know I struggle in is trusting God with my kids. I desire to raise them in the fear and admonition of the Lord. As I see my own weaknesses (realizing I don't see them all), I can really freak out. This is nothing but pride. For some reason there are times that I think if I just do all the right things my kids will be fine. This is not raising them in faith. This is not raising them in such a way that exalts the work of Jesus Christ. This is raising them so that I can exalt myself. If I do not parent in faith and consider the fact that I am doing things the right way, so my kids will not struggle the way so and so's kids struggle, pride is going to take over. You reap what you sow. I keep telling myself, if you sow pride in your heart you are going to reap the consequences of it. Even if I keep remarks about other peoples' parenting to myself, if I am still comparing my kids with theirs even in my heart someway or another it will come out. Maybe it will be in a haughty look, eventual words to others or to our children, teaching them to compare themselves favorably to others. I also think that I will reap it in my children. Pastor Matt reminded us, "humble yourself before God now, or He will humble you later". I need to keep myself in check because God just might humble me through my own children! Rather than having children that rise up and bless me with their lives, God has a right to humble me through their lives.

May God grant much mercy and grace to me as I endeavor to pursue humility in my parenting, and the many other areas which I did not share in this post.

"We Have Your Nephew"

This story was taken from Jesus Freaks by D.C. Talk and Voice of the Martyrs. It took place in the Philippines in 1992.

'"We have your nephew," said the handwritten note. "If you surrender to us, we will return the boy to his parents." Brother MT stared at the message. It was from the leaders of the New People's Army (NPA), the military arm of the Communist Party of the Philippines. People in many parts of the Philippines have been threatened and persecuted for years by this group of terrorists.
Brother MT is an evangelist in the Philippines. He travels regularly into the mountains to reach the terrorist groups. Peter, his eight-year-old nephew, frequently went with Brother MT on his evangelistic trips. He was a special help to him in children's meetings in the mountain villages.
Because of the pressure from the NPA, Brother MT was often forced into hiding. Still, as a result of his ministry, some of the NPA soldiers had given their lives to Jesus Christ and left the organization. MT had counted the cost and was prepared to give his life for the Gospel, but he was not prepared for this! He knew there was no hope that his surrender would save his nephew. He knew they would both be killed; however, he hesitated.
The boy's parents insisted that MT ignore this order and continue his evangelistic outreach. As a result, the parents gave their son for the Gospel. Peter was killed on Good Friday, April 17, 1992. He was tortured for three hours and suffered very much. His hands were tied with wire, and the terrorists struck him in the legs and head with an ax. Finally, he was beheaded.
The abductors have warned the boy's parents and MT that if they do not stop their ministry, they will return and torture them. Brother MT is continuing his dangerous work in the mountains among the terrorist groups."

Luke 14:26 "If anyone comes to Me, and does not hate his own father and mother and wife and children and brothers and sisters, yes, and even his own life, he cannot be My disciple."

This story is a hard one to read. It is not one of adults, freely making their own choices regarding their lives. Rather, it is of a family who knew what it meant to love Jesus more than each other. It is of an eight year old who was strong enough to preach the Gospel to other children even though he knew the risk. It is of an eight year old who was tortured and killed by those who despise the Gospel.
This did not take place very long ago, a mere sixteen years. If Peter was alive today, he would only be a couple of years older than I am.
We link to a website called The Rebelution put out by Alex and Brett Harris. The site is devoted to encouraging young people to "do hard things" and not succumb to our culture's low expectations. Peter is the epitome of this.
This week, pray for the people willingly offering their lives for the sake of the Gospel. Pray for their families who are left behind.

Fear, Anxiety, and Pride

Our Pastor is preaching on the perils of pride and the blessings / promises of humility right now. At one point in his sermon this past week he talked about anxiety. To paraphrase, he said that fear was the product of a prideful heart. He quoted another man who said that the heart of pride is one that makes itself supreme, not our Almighty, Infinite God. The prideful heart sets itself and its own plans, desires, expectations as supremely important rather than God and His will, plans, and desires. So how does this relate to fear? Well it’s really simple… we all have desires and plans and expectations, but they're not always the same as God’s desires, plans, and expectations for us. When He sovereignly directs our day in a way that doesn’t coincide with the direction we wanted (planned or expected) it to go, our reaction reveals the status of our heart. Do I accept God’s direction for my life with humility like Jesus saying “but not my will Father, but Yours be done,” or do I react in fear (or anger or discontentment, etc.)? When I react in fear I am showing that my heart was really exalting itself over God’s supremacy and not submitting humbly to His plan for my day. As such, fear is really an outward expression of the heart that is filled with pride. The heart of fear (pride) says I don’t want that to happen… I’m afraid! But the heart of humility says, I desire for … (fill in the blank) to happen, but I know that God knows what is best and my ultimate desire is to submit to His Supremacy, even if that means that my momentary desires are not realized. The heart of humility will trust God to make the best decision and lead them down the best paths in their life, but the heart of pride will dig in their heels and react in fear, distrust, etc. ultimately fighting God’s direction.

I can tend to look at fear in my own heart and try to come up with a plan to fight it, but in reality I am missing the bigger problem. It’s like being in a war and arriving at the wrong battle field. The real issue isn’t my fear, but rather my pride. Will I submit my will to God and accept with humble faith that whatever He brings my way is the best thing for me and those whose lives are affected through me, or will I rebel against His will for me and engage is silent “protest” through my fear filled reaction. The better thing would be to confess to God my pride and seek to submit myself to His will, asking Him to help me trust in His promises of good for those “who love Him and are called according to His purposes.” I would profit more if I remembered the humility of Christ in the garden of Gethsemane expressing His desires to God but not making them an idol, rather seeking to do God’s will no matter how great the cost. (As such this reaction would honor God, too!) I would do well to imitate His faith which said “My food is to do the will of God.” Everything about Christ exuded humble trust in God and submission to His will.

To sum up and restate this in the most positive fashion that I can: The way to live a peace-filled, anxiety free, joyful life is to be a humble person (or at best this side of heaven: a person seeking to be humble). Living in humility or in the state of humbling ourselves under God’s mighty hand is the only way to experience freedom and joy beyond our comprehension, even in the midst of trials and unsettling events because our focus isn’t on our own plans or our own supremacy but rather on God who is both Almighty and All-powerful… and frankly amazing! We will be astounded as we see the beauty of His plan if we accept it humbly and without fear.

When The Joy is Gone

Depression is not something I would say that I struggle with, but to my surprise and dismay I have found myself fighting this battle all too many times. Trials, physical pain, stress, sin, and yes, hormones, can put any of us on this path. Like a thief in the night, there have been times when utter darkness and pure misery have attacked my soul, when the desire to quit and stop trying are a real temptation, and when I begin to question: Why God feels so far away? And why do I feel so alone?

You should be laughing by now “four little boys…and you feel alone, that’s nuts!” And it is nuts and a real tragedy, for when one lives by sight and not by faith - it robs you of joy and self pity becomes your best friend. I wish I could tell you that I have fought this fight with grace and faith, one on each hand, but all too often I’ve given into the struggle and have found a pit of immense sorrow. What’s worse is that what I needed the most was first pushed aside - God's Word. You literately rely on others reminding you of that Truth. And of others to pray with you, because you’re so far you can’t even see it.

By His grace I have found that faith and joy are not simply a feeling but are a CHOICE.

In the book of Philippians, Paul writes from jail calling them to “Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice!” (Phil 4:4). Sometimes our circumstances are nothing but depressing and it’s quite easy to plead discouragement or despair. Paul didn’t let his circumstances dictate his heart attitude. His utter dependence on God produced the faith and joy he was able to practice when suffering persecution.

In Charles Spurgeon bio The Great Orator, he says this:

We need clouds and darkness to exercise our faith; to cut off self-dependence, and make us put more faith in Christ, and less in evidence, less in experience, less in frames and feelings.

As women, our sight and feelings can make us or break us at times. We look for the person or the feeling that can comfort us. Well, in my search for that feeling I found Jesus. "The Word..." (John 1:1)literally became flesh and when I look to Jesus, everything He said and did is personal and full of emotions—He understands our state, BUT we must keep looking to Jesus to know what to do with that feeling or that situation. He trusted the Father and humbly submitted to His will.

So now I look at my “dark” days differently—I know that they are as needed as the up-beat days that are full of joy. They are opportunities to exercise my need and utter dependence on Christ.

Witty Wednesdays

Johnny's mother looked out the window and noticed him 'playing church' with their cat. He had the cat sitting quietly and he was preaching to it. She smiled and went about her work.

A while later she heard loud meowing and hissing and ran back to the open window to see Johnny baptizing the cat in a tub of water. She called out, "Johnny, stop that! The cat is afraid of water!" Johnny looked up at her and said,"He should have thought about that before he joined my church."

The Joy of Being Home

I love being home. There is a great sense of fulfillment and purpose in keeping my home on a daily basis. There are many who have asked how it can be done.”Aren't you bored?” “I couldn't do that, I'd kill myself and my kids.” “I get such fulfillment in accomplishing something and contributing to society.” “I didn't go school to waste my time, talents, and skills at home where nobody appreciates them.” I have heard those words, not only on television but from other women I have known or been acquainted with. And I am here to say, “No, I am not bored, I haven't killed myself yet and have no desire to, and I don't believe I'm wasting my time.”

I enjoy doing what God created me to do.(Titus 2:3-5) I praise Him that He has given me pleasure and fulfillment in doing what adorns His Gospel and displays His glory. I admit, it's not fancy work and I don't dress in a suit everyday for fear milk, puke, juice, snot, or spaghetti sauce will get all over it. But this God ordained work of guarding my home is beautiful and is going to be a life long pursuit for me.

If I wasn't home I would miss stuffed animal explosion day.

If I wasn't home, how could we do school in the gazebo and play baseball the minute math is done?

If I wasn't home, I wouldn't know how curiously similar my Calvin is to Curious George-the curious little monkey! I'd miss too much “Life With Calvin”. This alone is not worth missing out on.

If I wasn't home, I wouldn't get to play Wii baseball or boxing when the mosquitoes are too bad or it's pouring rain in the middle of the afternoon.

And, no matter what we are doing: school, baseball, video games, bible time, cooking, hanging with Nichole, or chores, I get to see the character of my children. I get to see where they struggle the most, what they need to work on, and have a gospel saturated baseball game, chore time, school time, story time, and cooking time. I get to disciple my kids in a very intimate, intensive, and intentional way.

Being home gives me opportunities to show hospitality a lot. I can meet with young ladies and have them spend the day with me... why? Because I am home.

If my husband needs to talk to me, or needs me in an impromptu meeting, I'm available. I love it!

Yes, there are days when my voice is hoarse from reading too many stories, I am sick of disciplining them for what seems like the ten thousandth time, and I'm too tired to care what is for dinner, but it's worth it. I wouldn't want to miss out on our Jesus talks, teaching the kids to read, and hearing Noelle read “and Judah went into Tamar” in a British accent no less, and then sit there wondering, “Is she old enough to be reading this stuff?”

I wouldn't want to miss out on cooking Chinese food with some very precious young ladies in my life, reading good books with these same young ladies on a regular basis, or Tuesday morning coffee and prayer with Debbie or going to the park with a friend, or chatting with Betsy and Esme and knowing I can get a hold of one of them morning, noon, or night, because they are home.

I want my daughter to experience this same joy. Over at the Girl Talk blog they are doing a series on how to raise your daughters to love and care for their home. You don't get more counter cultural than that. You should check it out.

At the beginning of my post, I said that for me this will be life-long pursuit. What does that mean? It means that even when my kids are grown and out of my home, I have no desire to do anything else but keep my home. My goals, hopes, dreams, and aspirations are simply to live for Jesus. I never picture my home as being empty. If the Lord wills, I desire for it to be full until I go to be with Jesus. I want to care for children when their parents can't or won't. I want my home to be a place where strangers are welcome and people gather to talk, eat, and learn to be keeper's of the home as well. I hope that when I am old I will have gained enough skill and wisdom by the grace of God that I have something to pass on.

My husband does not plan on ever retiring. He plans, if the Lord is willing, to shepherd for the rest of his life and work in security if that is the only way to accomplish this goal..... so why should I retire? I want to be right in there with him, coming alongside of him in my home. (Of course I'll probably be in a lot better shape, being so much younger and all)! I want to do this, even if I am disabled like Amy Carmichael who was bedridden for the last 20 years of her life. All she could do was pray for and with the many children she rescued in India.

Oh, Lord grant me grace that I might persevere like that and instill these things in my daughter.

"The Highest Words"

Men of faith rise up and sing
Of the great and glorious King
You are strong when you feel weak
In your brokeness complete

Shout to the North and the South
Sing to the East and the West
Jesus is saviour to all
Lord of heaven and earth

Rise up women of the truth
Stand and sing to broken hearts
Who can know the healing power
Of our awesome King of love

We've been through fire we've been
through rain
We've been refined by the power of his name
We've fallen deeper in love with you
You've burned the truth on our lips

Rise up church with broken wings
Fill this place with songs again
Of our God who reigns on high
By His grace again we'll fly

This story was taken from Jesus Freaks by D.C. Talk and Voice of the Martyrs. It took place in the U.S.S.R. in the 1970s.

'"What kind of men are these?" wondered Nikolai Khamara. "They show joy while suffering They sing in very dark hours. When they have a piece of bread, they share it with someone who has none. Morning and evening, they fold their hands and speak to someone whom no one can see. As they do, their faces shine."
For months, Khamara had watched the Christians who shared his cell in the Communist prison. Unlike the believers who were in prison for refusing to deny their faith in Jesus, Khamara was there for crimes he had committed. Arrested for robbery, he had been sentenced to prison for ten years. He described himself as "a man with no conscience."
One day, two of the Christians sat down with Khamara. He told them the sad story of his life and finished by saying, "I am a lost man."
One of the Christians asked, "Suppose somebody looses a gold ring. What is the value of that gold ring when it is lost?"
"What a foolish question!" Khamara replied. "A gold ring is a gold ring. You have lost it, but somebody else will have it."
"Then what is the value of a lost man?" the Christian asked. Answering his own question, he continued, "A lost man, even one who is a thief or an adulterer or a murderer, has the whole value of a man. He is of such value that the Son of God forsook heaven for him and died on the cross to save him."
Khamara uderstood.
The Christian said to the robber, "God loves you. You are valuable to Him. When Jesus met drunkards, robbers, prostitutes, or others who had committed great sins, He never asked them what sins they had committed. Instead, He told them 'Be of good cheer. Your sins are forgiven.' I also tell you, Khamara, that your sins are forgiven because Jesus died for you. You only have to believe."
Khamara became a Christian.
When he finished his prison term and was set free, he joined the underground church even though it was in constant threat from the KGB. He became a faithful member of his local congregation. Some time later, the pastor of Khamara's church was arrested. The authorities beat and tortured him hoping he would tell the names of the church members and give them information that would help them stop the printing of Gospel booklets that had been circulating throught their province. He was tortured, but he told them nothing., If he had, thousands of his fellow believers would have been arrested.
After he had beated the pastor repeatedly without success, the captain of the investigation said, "We will not torture you anymore. We have another method."
They arrested Nikolai Khamara. They brought him before the pastor and told him, "If you do not tell all the secrets of your church, we will torture Khamara in front of you."
The pastor could not endure someone suffering for him. He asked Khamara, "What should I do?"
Khamara said to him, "Be faithful to Jesus and do not betray Him. I am happy to suffer for the name of Christ."
The captain said, "We will gouge out Khamara's eyes." The torturers picked up a knife and started toward Khamara. The pastor could not bear it. He cried to Khamara, "How can I look at this! You will be blind!"
Khamara repliedd, "When my eyes are taken away from me, I will see more beauty than I see with these eyes. I will see the Savior. You remain faithful to Christ to the end."
When he had finished, seeing that the astor had not yet given them the information they wanted, the captain turned to the pastor again and said, "If you do not betray your church, we will cut out Khamara's tongue."
I despair, the pastor cried out, "What should I do?"
Khamara's last words were, "Praise the Lord Jesus Christ. I have said the highest words that can be said. Now, if you wish, you can cut out my tongue."
Khamara died a martyr's death.'

Baptisms: My son Aidan's

Yesterday, I posted my youngest son’s baptism pictures and his testimony. Today I will post my oldest son’s baptism pictures and testimony. My middle son is also a professing believer who was baptized about 2 years ago so if any of you are interested in reading his testimony, you can feel free to email us here at True Women, and I can get that to you. But today’s focus is on Aidan’s testimony because he is the last of the group baptized on Sunday.

Aidan is a little mini-me. He is 13 years old and as much as a boy could possibly be like his mother, he is like me. His voice hasn’t started changing yet, so he even sounds like me. When he bosses around his brothers, people have been known to turn around looking for me, since he even has my intonation matched. Sadly he has many of the same struggles I do. For years he has battled with whether he could be saved due to his ongoing struggle with sin, especially pride. He has cried out for salvation many times but was never sure of whether he was saved since he saw how much he still loved his sin. Similar to his brother Austin, I would not give him any assurance of salvation, but would simply point him back to the complete work of salvation and forgiveness that we can have in Christ if we believe the promises of the gospel. Recently we went to a “Do Hard Things” conference and Mr. Harris spoke on the nature of a believer verses an unbeliever. He explained about how as a believer, your desires change and though you may have some (or many) of the old habits, God is still at work in you and it starts with your desires and affections, etc. (This is my quick paraphrase.) This really helped to define Aidan’s struggle to him and gave him a “peace” about his own battle. He had trusted in the finished work of Christ and was battling sin (by the power of the Holy Spirit). As such, God used Mr. Harris’ speech to reveal how He was working in Aidan, namely in his desire for holiness and honoring God in his life, as well as the pursuit thereof. Ryan and I and other people who interact with Aidan had thought that he was a believer for at least a year prior to this, and were thankful to see God move in Aidan to trust in the work of Christ for salvation and assurance of faith, too. Here is his testimony.

Aidan’s Testimony:
Good morning. My name is Aidan Aldrich. I learned about God and the gospel through my parents teaching, Sunday school, and reading the bible, etc. Before I was saved I struggled with pride, anger, lying and cheating. And I still struggle with these things, but now I know and believe that Christ died for my sins and I am covered with His righteousness. I used to not think about “life when I’m an adult”. I just did school and chores and played video games… and that was my average day. But as I got older I started to realize that I’m going to have to “do hard things” and not just be a lazy bum.

When my dad got laid off from work we had a lot of time to just talk about the gospel and things of God like obedience, kindness, self-control, gentleness, etc. while doing some jobs people asked us to do. Our talks helped me to realize that I needed a savior.

I’m glad that Jesus will always be there in my times of trials and struggles. I know that I will never be perfect before I die because God is holy and I’m not. I praise the Lord for my salvation. (Eph 2:8-10) For by grace you have been saved through faith not of yourselves, it is the free gift of God not as a result of works that no man should boast. For we are His workmanship created in Christ Jesus for good works that we might walk in them.

I pray that God would guide me and help me understand His word and I also pray that He would help me strive for Him. I thank God that He would send His only Son to die for me, a wretched sinner in need of a savior, and that Savior is Jesus Christ. I thank God that we have a hope for eternal life in Christ Jesus because He died and rose again on the 3rd day and defeated death. Jesus is my Friend, and God is my spiritual Father.

Baptisms: My son Austin

This week we are sharing the testimonies of some of our loved ones who recently got baptized. On Tuesday Jasmine shared the story of God’s work in her sister Kat. Today and tomorrow, I will be sharing the story of God’s work in my oldest and youngest sons Aidan and Austin. Today I will talk of Austin since he is the youngest. Let me tell you a little about him.

Austin is 9 years old. He is a talker! He is smart as a whip and he knows the gospel back and forth. As such, we’ve always had great conversations about eternal things. But within the last 6-12 months, we watched God change that knowledge into something more in Austin. He gave Austin a certainty that the gospel wasn’t just truth, but rather that it was real. God changed it from Sunday school truth to real life truth… it wasn’t just a story of “grace”; it became salvation to my little guy. God has given Austin a love for Jesus which He is also growing into a passion to live for Jesus. I am excited to see God at work in him and continue to pray daily for him and my other sons that God will use them for His glory and help them to live “all out” for Jesus. He was baptized by my husband Ryan this past Sunday. Here is Austin’s testimony which he read to our congregation at Temple Baptist Church before he was baptized. I hope you will be encouraged by it.

Austin’s testimony:

I learned about God from Mom and Dad, from Pastor Matt at home and at church. I learned that God is Almighty and about Jesus. Without God, we don’t care about Him. That’s bad because we need to care about Him. If we don’t, then we’ll go to Hell. God made us to glorify Him. If we don’t care about Him, then we won’t glorify Him. God sent Christ to die on the cross for our sins because He loved us and so that we could draw near to Him.

At first, I would sometimes obey and sometimes not. I sinned a lot. I didn’t really care about Him. It felt like He wasn’t really there. Whenever I heard that Christ died for me, I thought “No, He didn’t really die for me. He died for my mom and my dad and my brothers, but not for me. Then for awhile I thought maybe He died for me, but I wasn’t sure. Then I was reading my bible each day and it said that Jesus died for my sins. For about a week I was still thinking about it. And I saw those words again and I was just sure that He died for MY sins.

Jesus died for our sins. He rose from the dead. He ascended into Heaven. He’s coming back to earth and He’ll make a new heaven and a new earth. When I believed this, I was glad. Now I try to be more kind and to help people. When I sin, I try to confess it and seek forgiveness from whoever I sinned against.

Sometimes I think that I want to be like Paul. He was a missionary who preached the gospel. Or like Simon Peter. They loved God so much. I want to love God that much. It was possible for them to love God so much because God loved them and because the Holy Spirit helped them. He can help me, too.

Witty Wednesday

Here are some pictures that my Grandpa Henry sent me in an email entitled "To all those who Have/Will Have/Had Boys."

Kat's Testimony to God's Grace

This past Sunday, my sister Kat, also known as Katie, or as I affectionately called her, the K K Monster, was baptized as a testimony of the work of Jesus in her life. This was a beautiful moment for her family. Just a little over a month ago, she was still avoiding talking about Jesus and still rejecting the truth of the gospel she had grown up with. Amazing Grace! Amazing grace to her and to those of us who love her and have labored to pray for her and speak to her the words of life. After attending small group with my mom out a sense of obligation for some things my mom had recently done for her, we began to see the Spirit suddenly and powerfully convict her of sin and bring her to repentance and faith in Jesus alone. Because of her experience in the small group sermon discussions she began to desire to hear more of the word by coming to actually hear the sermons and was convinced that all these years she truly had neglected to be a doer of the word and cast herself fully on Jesus. God delights in saving sinners; I am in awe of this. I am grateful and rejoicing. I am amazed at my salvation and I have recently been convicted through my sister's conversion how much I lack proper amazement, joy and expectation. I know and believe Jesus died for me and can only cry out in joy and receive mercy everyday, yet I began to believe God would never save my sister. What a contradiction. I lacked faith in a God who saves and I know full well delights in saving sinners. So, as I enjoy watching God work in and through my sister in such an amazing way, I am encouraged to press on in praying for and witnessing to my other siblings. My passion is reignited if you will, and my admiration for my mother's perseverence in doing good, praying and continuing to hope in the power of the gospel, has grown tremendously. The power of the gospel is something I want to keep at the forefront of my mind, since somehow along the way it was buried and jumbled in my messy faith. As you read Kat's testimony be encouraged to press on in praying for and preaching the gospel to your loved ones. The Gospel is the power, not you, not me.

Kat's Testimony

Scripture says in Matthew 7:21 - Not everyone who says to Me, “Lord, Lord”, will enter the Kingdom of Heaven, but he who does the will of my Father who is in Heaven will enter.

I was 7 when I first became guilty of shouting “Lord, Lord”. I had prayed, asked Jesus into my heart and chose Him as my savior. I did all the right things, like going to Sunday School and Church. And, as I got older I became a member of our Church choir, did 5 Day Club ministries, and assisted with our Church's children's musical.

I knew what God's word said, and I knew what sin was; but I never believed my rebellion and disobedience to my mom, was rebellion and disobedience to God. But, sin is just that, sin!

When I turned 18 and was able to make “ adult choices”, I didn't ponder for one second God or what His word says. All I saw was freedom to do what I wanted to do.

My fear of eternity in hell was my only drive to be saved and I repeatedly tried to save myself.

Ephesians 2:8-9 says: For by grace you have been saved through faith: and that not of yourselves, it is the gift of God; not as a result of works, so that no one may boast.

So, why did I think as a human created by God, Who made all things, that I have a right to think I even had a say! I didn't have that right. All I was truly doing was boasting in myself. I was a child of wrath, willfully sinning with a terrifying expectation of judgment.

I had let the things of this world be my focus and it kept me blind. It is only the grace of a merciful and loving God that saved me from myself. The moment I surrendered myself to the Almighty God, I was made broken and convicted of my sinful ways. It was in seeing who I was apart from God and His forgiveness of my sins that He redeemed me by the blood of the Lamb.

So, now I say to all of you, for now and forevermore, I desire to be a witness for my Lord, a slave to my father's word, and to follow Him all of my days.

"He Will Enable Me to Bear It"

This story is a little longer than the rest, so I am going to keep my comments (mostly!) to myself. I have so much admiration for this young woman. I hope her story will embolden you in your public Christian walk and will move you to pray for the people who have to make these same decisions every day.

This story was taken from Jesus Freaks by D.C. Talk and Voice of the Martyrs. It took place in England, 1557.

"Rose Allen jumped from her bed and peeked out the window. There in front of her door stood a sheriff, two police officers, and a crowd of people carrying torches. They were talking with her father on the doorstep. She looked at the clock on the mantle. It was two in the morning.
Rose's mother, Alice Munt, had also been awakened by the loud pounding on the door. 'What is it, Rose?' she whispered.
'They've come to get us, Mother,' Rose whispered back. Rose could hear her father, William, letting the men in below. Then she heard footsteps coming up the stairs.
Friends had warned them of the danger of not attending the official church, but their sense of duty to the truth was stronger than their fears. They continued to worship in secret places with a few men and women like faith. Now the authorities had come to take them away.
Alice, who was not in good health, was so shaken up by the sudden alarm that she felt faint. She asked the sheriff if her daughter could get her some water before they all left for prison.
The sheriff allowed Rose to go to the well. She took a candle and a pitcher to the well and returned with the water. As she came back toward the house, the sheriff met her at the door and said, 'Persuade your father and mother to act more like good Christians and less like heretics. Then they'll soon be set free.'
'Sir,' Rose replied,'They have a better instructor than I, for the Holy Spirit teaches them - one who, I hope, will not allow them to err.'
'Well! It's time to lock up such heretics as you!' the sheriff replied. 'I reckon you will burn with the rest, for company's sake.'
'No sir,' Rose replied, 'not for company's sake, but for my Christ's sake, if I have to. And I trust in His mercies, that if He calls me to do it, He will enable me to bear it.'
One of the sheriff's men shouted, 'Prove her now, and you shall see what she will do by and by.'
With that, the sheriff took the candle from the girl and holding her wrist in a firm grip, put the lighted candle under her hand, burning it across the back for so long that the skin peeled off, the tendons cracked, and the bones showed.
'Cry, wench! Let me hear you cry!' he yelled.
Rose refused to utter a sound.
When he finally pushed her away, Rose said, 'Sir, have you done what you will do?'
'Yes, and if you don't like it, then mend it.'
'Mend it!' said Rose, 'No, the Lord will mend you, and give you repentance, if it be His will. And now, if you think it good, begin at the feet, and burn to the head also. For he that sent you to this work shall pay you your wages one day, I promise you.'
Having said this, Rose carried the water into the house to her mother.
The same morning, the sheriff and his men also arrested six others. After they had been in prison a few days, they were all brought to trial. Each one answered with firmness and refused to change their belief in any way. They were sentenced to be burned at the stake.
When they were brought out, the martyr's knelt, said their prayers, and were tied to the stakes. When the fire rose all around them, they clapped their hands for joy in the fire.
The people who looked on - thousands of them - cried out, 'Lord strengthen you! The Lord comfort you! The Lord pour out His mercies upon you!' and other words of comfort.
The martyrs gave themselves to the flames with such courage that all who saw them were amazed.

"Better is one day in Your courts

Better is one day in Your house
Better is one day in Your courts
Than thousands elsewhere
Better is one day in Your courts
Better is one day in Your house
Better is one day in Your courts
Than thousands elsewhere

(My heart and flesh cry out)
My heart and flesh cry out
For You, the Living God
Your Spirit's water for my soul
I've tasted, and I've seen
Come once again to me
I will draw near to You
I will draw near to You
To You"

God At Work: A Wondrous Thing!

As I look back to my beginning with my husband and then fast forward to our life now, I am amazed at the work that God has done in us through the work of Christ and the Holy Spirit. By His grace He brought the gospel to us and made it alive in our hearts. We had met in high school, got pregnant outside of marriage, and got married during my senior year in school. We fought and had strife regularly because we were both living out of our own sense of what was good and right and true. However when God did His work in our hearts, He also brought a new preacher into our church who taught God’s word as true and authoritative. So right from the beginning of our salvation, we were pointed consistently back to the path of righteousness and following Christ. Our compass was guided by the Holy Spirit and always pointing us back to Jesus! We already had our first son Aidan and were pregnant with our second son Aaron. Then we were given such grace by God as to be taught how He wanted us to raise our boys even while they were still babies. Our pastor and his wife were teaching us from the pulpit and their lives how to “train up your children in the way they should go.” So the Holy Spirit directed us back to His Word time and again in all aspects of our child rearing as well as our own personal lives. He taught us how the gospel is needful every day for both us and our children. We were reminded to love Jesus because He loves us and to tell our kids about the love of Jesus, too!

We have had some struggles and hard times in our life but God has always been with us, drawing us back unto Him and His word… drawing us closer to Jesus through His Holy Spirit. He helps us to see who Jesus is and gives us the strength and desire to walk with Him more and more each year. I guess the thing that I always see is that, in one way or another, God is constantly at work in us! I have hope that He will finish His work in us because He’s never taken a day off from working on us yet! It reinforces God’s promise that He will never leave us or forsake us as well as the promise that He will finish the good work that He began in us, in Christ Jesus!

Now I see His work in a new generation of believers. About two years ago, my middle son Aaron made a profession of faith. After observing his life and (as best as we can tell) seeing Jesus at work in Him, he shared his testimony of God’s saving work in his life and his daddy baptized him at our church one Sunday. Now (within 3 months of each other), my oldest son Aidan and my youngest son Austin have made a profession of faith. We have suspected that God had done a work in them for awhile, but not wanting to push them hastily into a false profession of faith, we waited (and prayed!) continuing to call them to trust in the finished work of Jesus on the cross. Well, they have and I am glad to hear their testimony, which is really the story of God at work! They will both be baptized on this coming Sunday by their daddy.

I am excited to see how God works! It is wondrous to me that He has had this amazing plan of salvation since before the foundations of the world, and He has planned for His people to participate in that plan through the preaching of the gospel…. His good news! It’s amazing to me that God would take a former blasphemer who practiced all sorts of wickedness like me and change me through His power and for His glory into His mouthpiece for sharing the gospel with my very own little blaspheming wretches… whom He calls to be His mouthpiece to other wretches! Only God would be able to think of something so different and impossible and be able to make it work! Salvation is truly a work of God from start to finish! I am filled with excitement and wonder as so many thoughts of God and His works rattle around in my head. All I can say is Wow! God really is awesome and I can see this most in the work of Christ and the good news of the gospel!

A Gracious Women Serves Others

The woman who is gracious takes every opportunity to do good to all people (Galatians 6:7-10). She knows that her labor is not in vain. God is good and we as His people ought to be doing good to others.

The gracious woman knows that what she does for the least she does for Jesus. Hospitality (opening up your home and life), feeding the hungry, clothing the naked, giving the thirsty water to drink, visiting widows, caring for uncared for children, and lovingly giving to the poor are all done in faith with a heart of compassion and Jesus is there at the center of it all.

A gracious woman looks out for the interests of others in her home, community, church, and workplace. She isn't looking out for #1 as our flesh is so prone toward and our world rewards. God delights in and looks with grace on those who look out for the interests of others. This woman looks at Jesus and lives out Philippians 2:1-4- Therefore if there is any encouragement in Christ, if there is any consolation of love, if there is any fellowship in the Spirit, if any affection or compassion, make my joy complete by being of the same mind, maintaining the same love, united in spirit, intent on one purpose. Do nothing out of selfish ambition or empty conceit, but with humility of mind regard one another as more important than yourselves; do not merely look out for your own personal interests , but also for the interest of others.

Every time I read through Philippians 2, I realize how unlike Jesus I am and how filled I am with me, myself, and I. I want to be like Jesus and I trust that He is working that out in me, but I must still evaluate, repent, and in faith live out what I am becoming because of Jesus. These are just a few questions I use to evaluate myself in this area:

Does my husband trust I have his best interest in mind? (Proverbs 31:11-12)

Am I known as a woman who reaches out to those in need ? (Proverbs 31:19-20)

Does it look like I'll be considered a widow indeed if the the Lord sees fit I experience old age and loss of my husband? (1Timothy 5:3-5)

Tenderness, love, compassion, looking out for others; this is the life a gracious woman leads. All she does is motivated by the grace of God given her and she always has the good of her family, friends, and strangers God has ordained for her to minister to in mind.

Oh Father, as I pursue becoming a gracious woman I am in great need of Your grace.

O Lord,
Thou knowest my great unfitness for service, my present deadness, my inability to do anything for thy glory, my distressing coldness of heart. I am weak, ignorant, unprofitable, and loathe and abhor myself. I am at a loss to know what thou wouldest have me do, for I feel amazingly deserted by thee, and sense thy presence so little; Thou makest me possess the sins of my youth, and the dreadful sin of my nature, so that I feel all sin, I cannot think or act but every motion is sin. Return again with showers of converting grace to a poor gospel-abusing sinner. Help my soul to breathe after holiness, after a constant devotedness to thee, after growth in grace more abundantly everyday. O Lord, I am lost in the pursuit of this blessedness, and am ready to sink because I fall short of my desire; help me to hold out a little longer, until the happy hour of deliverance comes, for I cannot lift my soul to thee if thou of thy goodness bring me not nigh. Help me to be diffident, watchful, tender, lest I offend my blessed friend in thought and behavior; I confide in thee and lean upon thee, and need thee at all times to assist and lead me. O that all my distresses and apprehensions might prove but Christ's school to make me fit for greater service by teaching me the great lesson of humility. ( Prayer taken from Valley of Vision)

Witty Wednesday

I saw this video on the Fox news the other night and It's hard not to laugh, even if you don't care for politics. The part that gets me the most is that their voices match so well with their personalities, or should I say 'their age'.

Anyway, enjoy!

A Week Down Memory Lane

This week was a little strange for me; it seemed like every little thing that happened overwhelmed my senses with a flood of memories. It was a bit distracting, but good at the same time. My life played out in my mind like it was happening at that very moment; everything from the most horrible things in my childhood to the most tender and intimate moments with my husband to the birth of my children - it was weird. :)

One morning this week, when my husband got out of bed and walked across the room, our wedding night flashed before my eyes. I guess something about the way he walked across the room triggered it. My heart literally began to pound hard, I started shaking and giggling to myself a bit. I felt transported through time! I remembered everything. I felt in that moment the way I felt that night. I remembered how nervous Rick seemed and how calm that began to make me. I remembered him reading the Song of Solomon out loud to me and I literally felt the jitters I felt then - it was kind of funny once I snapped out of it.

We took our kids to the State Fair this past week and as we walked through the barn where the cows were, the sights and smells took me back to the farm I lived on when I was 5 and living in Missouri. I could literally feel the roughness of the rope in my hands that I used to use to walk my baby calf. I remembered how heavy the bottles we used to feed the calves felt to me at 5 years old. I felt the rush of excitement as me and my sister would slide down what we called "Dookey Hill". We were allowed to pet one of the calves and as my hand stroked it's back I could see myself chasing the cows through the fields and I almost started to laugh like a little kid until I remembered where we were.

Saturday morning I went upstairs to wake Silas up and the kid wouldn't budge, which is so unlike him. For a moment I saw him in the Hospital bed with tubes everywhere, I started to cry, and then he stirred awake and back to the present I came.

Sunday night at Small Group I held Brittany's beautiful baby boy and the birth of Silas came flooding into my mind. I remembered trying to laugh at something Rick said while I was in labor, turning to my side, closing my eyes and groaning.

I don't know why these things came to my mind so vividly this week, only that they did and I am grateful even for the painful memories that I have no desire to share, because it all caused me to reflect on the grace of God in my life.

I had and have nothing to offer God. He in all the mystery and beauty that is God chose to bestow on me His tender love, mercy and grace. He saved me at a young age and has changed my life and all I could hope for, to a life that I would have never pictured for myself.

I have joy I never thought possible just knowing I am loved and provided for by God. I can reflect on the few trials I have experienced in my short life, and rejoice in the God who was strengthening me and perfecting my faith. I can look at the joys I have experienced and just be grateful.

This week has caused me to look forward to life lived and memories made in Jesus. I am not promised an easy life, but I am promised an abundant life because I share in the joy of my Master, and look forward to sharing in His joy in this life and in eternity.

Walled In

This story was taken from Jesus Freaks by D.C. Talk and Voice of the Martyrs. It took place in the 1500s.

"'I found one!' The Inquisitor held up the forbidden book as he called to his assistant. 'Bring in the mayor and his family. Someone is studying the Bible in this house!'
In the 16th century, Philip 2 sent the Duke of Alba to Flanders to stamp out the Protestants who insisted on reading the Scriptures in their own language. Anyone found studying the Bible was hanged, drowned, torn into pieces, or burned alive at the stake.
The Inquisitors had found the Bible while inspecting the house of the Mayor of Burgge. One by one, family members were questioned but everyone claimed they knew nothing about how the Bible got to their house.
Finally the officials asked the young maid-servant, Wrunken, who boldly declared, 'I am reading it!'
The mayor, knowing the penalty for studying the Bible, tried to defend her saying, 'Oh no, she only owns it. She doesn't ever read from it.'
But Wrunken chose not to be defended by a lie. 'This book is mine. I am reading from it, and it is more precious to me than anything!'
She was sentenced to die by suffocation. A place would be hollowed in the city wall, she would be tied in it, and the opening would be bricked over.
On the day of her execution, as she stood by the wall, an official tried to get her to change her mind, saying 'So young and beautiful - and yet to die.'
Wrunken replied, 'My Savior died for me. I will also die for Him.'
As the bricks were laid higher and higher, she was warned again. 'You will suffocate and die in here!'
'I will be with Jesus,' she answered.
Finally, the wall was finished, except for the one brick that would cover her face. For the last time, the official tried to persuade her. 'Repent - just say the word and you will go free.'
But Wrunken refused saying, 'O Lord, forgive my murderers.'
The brick was put in place. Many years later, her bones were removed from the wall and buried in the cemetery of Brugge."


This story moves me on so many levels! Wrunken had so many opportunities to escape. She had only to deny that the Bible was hers at the beginning when questioned. The mayor and his family were clearly ready to back her on it. And after she claimed ownership, the mayor still tried to rescue her. But she refused to be rescued. "My Savior died for me. I will also die for Him."
Most of us will never face the choice of speaking for Christ and dying or denying Christ and living. I am reminded of the verse in 1st Corinthians, "No temptation has overtaken you but such as is common to man; and God is faithful, who will not allow you to be tempted beyond what you are able, but with the temptation will provide the way of escape also, so that you will be able to endure it." In the past, I have often looked at this verse as a display of God's faithfulness and generosity. But recently I have come to see a different aspect of it.
If God promises not to give us trials that we cannot handle, then why is it that most of us only suffer relatively minimalistic trials? Wrunken thought that it was not only necessary, but an honor to die for her Savior. However, many of us (myself included) often do not consider obedience a necessity - let alone an honor.
Let us this week consider the example of Wrunken. Let us examine our own lives to see where we can better show our devotion to our Savior. Let us repeat, "My Savior died for me. I will submit to my husband to honor Him. My Savior died for me. I will speak gently to honor Him. My Savior died for me. I will not gossip to honor him."

Having A Fiesta Heart!

My neighbors recently had a “fiesta.” I am not sure what they were celebrating, but they really went all out for this party. They started getting their yard prepared and setting up at least a full day in advance. What fun it was to watch all the preparation. They seemed to be enjoying themselves immensely! They rented a gigantic bouncy “house” for the children. (This thing was 1 ½ stories high!) They strung up tarps in the trees to shade their backyard. They set out long lines of tables with decorations. They blew up balloons. They had a big piñata. They had lively music playing starting mid-morning and the party didn’t even start until early evening! Then when the party started, everyone seemed to be having a great time! Family and friends gathered together, their children playing and laughing, and all of them eating some fantastic smelling food!

As I watched and listened to the music and the way they were relating to each other, I couldn’t help but think of the parable in Luke 14 and Matthew 22 about the King who threw a wedding party. He sent out the invitations after all of the preparations for the joyous occasion were finished, but none of the original recipients wanted to come and celebrate with the King. It seems that they were all too busy with the everyday “stuff.” So instead He sent out His messengers to all the poor and needy and all the travelers on the road and many came to His celebration. How sad that the original recipients were so caught up in their own plans that they missed the great celebration the King had for them! How wonderful for the poor and needy and the travelers, who had nothing “of this world” to captivate them and were able to joyfully respond to the invitation!

I am so, SO glad that God “sent out” His messengers to me! I am so glad that He would invite me to His “marriage supper!” I imagine how it will be when we are with Jesus in glory, either in heaven or on the new earth. I know some people picture Heaven as some solemn place where everyone is too holy to smile, or where we stand around singing “Holy, Holy, Holy” all day; but I picture it as a place of real soul-bursting joy and celebration. How can it be anything less, when we are covered in the righteousness of Christ (our bride clothes!), we are free from sin, and we are in the presence of the most happy and complete person of all: God! I picture us celebrating with the Lord and the brethren from throughout the ages! Talking with Jesus, and Paul and Elijah, etc. Laughing with Peter… (people as boneheaded as he and I are sure to get along and have lots to laugh about!)

I have to say that my neighbor’s “fiesta” really encouraged me and added to my anticipation of the good which the Lord has for us with Him. It also reminded me to not set my heart on the things of this life which can so easily captivate us and distract us from the future hope and inheritance that we have awaiting us with our Lord! I know that someday we will be with Jesus, celebrating and enjoying His presence as well as fellowshipping with other believers, worshiping and filled with everlasting joy! What wondrous things we have to look forward to! Lord, help me to keep my heart and my eyes focused on You. Keep me looking up, not sideways!