We Were Made For Relationships

I once heard that the babies of the family tend to be very friendly and practically have never met a "stranger." I am the baby of my family (thank goodness, after 8 kids...) and if you know me, you would know that, that is for the most part true of myself. I may lack in other places, but not in relationships or friendships. However, I pursue relationships sometimes without even giving a second thought. Last week Jasmine directed us to an article encouraging women to seek five specific types of woman relationships. I found it extremely helpful and encouraging but these words really caught my attention; "Look for a woman who makes her relationship with God a priority." I can honestly say I didn't seek these types of women in my life--they CAME to me! I've been richly blessed in that department, and is not due to my wise choices and irresistible personality, but rather God's mercy on me. The more I considered the subject of friendships and relationships I realized we cannot be best friends with everyone and have the privilege of having five real good friends. More often than not, what we have are relationships; you know the occasional visit to that friend of yours from High School or college, and then there are the relationships that take work to have, and the ones that are not so impressed by you and your talents and they make you grit your teeth... and the ones that we hide from, and of course the ones you wish you did not have to have...

In my search for more "bosom friend" relationships material, I found this very insightful book called Relationships A Mess Worth Making by Tim Lane and Paul Tripp. In only the first few pages he makes the argument that we must not be surprised that we (male and female) long for relationships. We were created in the image of God and in the Trinity we find a community of the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit. Neat huh? I never thought of it that way. Good, I can breath easier now, my delight in relationships is not, after all, such a crazy idea to pursue. The authors go on to say that the problem with relationships is not that we have them, but that we don't give them their proper place. They quote C.S. Lewis with this:

When I have learnt to love God better than my earthly dearest, I shall love my earthly dearest better than I do now. In so far as I learn to love my earthly dearest at the expense of God and instead of God, I shall be moving towards the state in which I shall not love my earthly dearest at all. When first things are put first, second things are not suppressed but increased.

So, they make the point to say that this may not always be so clear to us, but the following could be evidences of reversing the order of things:

Letting go of a moment of hurt
Becoming defensive when challenged
Avoiding conflict out of fear
Being too political at work
Gossiping about people
Pursuing comfortable relationships and avoiding difficult ones
Doubting God when our relationships are messy
Envying other people's friendships
Controlling relationships out of a desire for security
Blowing up at people when our agendas are trampled
Living in bitter isolation in the face of disappointment


Okay my "bosom friends", we'll talk about this more next week. Have a safe and blessed weekend!!