Missing You…

My husband is in Cameroon Africa right now. It’s odd how my thoughts have changed since he has gone. I now think in 2 time zones simultaneously. I orient myself based upon what I am doing and what my husband might be doing at the same time. For example, while I am typing out this post it is late evening here and in Cameroon it is very early in the morning (say 5am-ish) so my husband is probably still sleeping or maybe just waking up. I pray that he has slept peacefully and gotten good rest so that he can be equipped for whatever the day may hold for him. I pray that he can accomplish much today and that He will honor and glorify God and minister faithfully to the Yongs and the other people he will encounter. I will continue in this manner of thought as I prepare for sleep and throughout the morning tomorrow; then I will start over again (Lord willing) tomorrow evening. In this whole circle of events, I liken our marriage to that of our relationship to Christ. And in that I am saddened as I realize how I am generally more moved to prayer over temporary and relatively inconsequential things, than over broader, eternal things… Kingdom type issues.

Peter said we are aliens and strangers in the world. And right now, I understand that. I feel like my world is upside down. My husband is on the other side of the world and I feel like I am present in the body but detached from the things going on around me (at least to a large degree). My other half is separated from me and I feel the loss (Lord willing- temporary as it may be). But isn’t this how I should feel every day, not because I’m apart from my earthly husband, but because I am separated from my heavenly husband Christ by this body of death… this body that cannot fully contain His glory. Shouldn’t I long for the reunion with my heavenly husband so much that I ache within my heart and lament the temporary limitations that restrict my full enjoyment of Him? Why don’t I find my thoughts straying very often in prayer to God that He would spread His gospel abroad to all the nations so that people may see His beauty which I so delight in? Why aren’t I drawn consistently to pray that He will do a good work today in the hearts of His missionaries and that He’ll refresh their spirits for His glory? How sad that I can’t help but be concerned for the good of my husband Ryan every waking moment, but am so often shallow in my thoughts, desires, affections, and subsequent prayers for the spread of the “light of the glory of the gospel of Jesus Christ”. So to that end, though I am still missing my husband, I am also glad that God is using this period of separation to show me some things about myself that need to change and grow for the glory of God and for my own good as well as the good of those around me.

Have a blessed day and remember to enjoy your heavenly husband who gave Himself perfectly, sacrificially, and entirely for the redemption of our unworthy souls and to show forth the radiating beauty of God’s glorious plan.