Out of the Depths

Out of the Depths
From Sovereign Grace's cd Psalms

Out of the depths, O Lord, I cry to You
When I am tempted to despair
Though I might fail to trust Your promises
You never fail to hear my prayer
And if You judged my sin
I’d never stand again
But I see mercy in Your hands

So more than watchmen for the morning
I will wait for You, my God
When my fears come with no warning
In Your Word I’ll put my trust
When the harvest time is over and I still see no fruit
I will wait, I will wait for You

The secret mysteries belong to You
We only know what You reveal
And all my questions that are unresolved
Don’t change the wisdom of Your will
In every trial and loss
My hope is in the cross
Where Your compassions never fail

By faith we see the hand of God
In the light of creation's grand design
In the lives of those who prove His faithfulness
Who walk by faith and not by sight

By faith our fathers roamed the earth
With the power of His promise in their hearts
Of a holy city built by God's own hand
A place where peace and justice reign

We will stand as children of the promise
We will fix our eyes on Him, our soul's reward
Till the race is finished and the work is done
We'll walk by faith and not by sight

By faith the prophets saw a day
When the longed for Messiah would appear
With the power to break the chains of sin and death
And rise triumphant from the grave

By faith the church was called to go
In the power of the Spirit to the lost
To deliver captives and to preach good news
In every corner of the earth

By faith this mountain shall be moved
And the power of the gospel shall prevail
For we know in Christ all things are possible
For all who call upon His name

Amen. AMEN! I envy (in a non-sinful way!) the poetic gifts of the Gettys and Stuart Townsend. There are times when my heart seems full to burst and the only outlet I can think of is a song. And the verses I compose are sad, pitiful things next to songs like these.

As Christians, we have a rich history as our forefathers lived out logic defying faith in God. We are truly children of the promise and our lives should be lived in such a way that, if the promises were to fail, we would be viewed as ones to be pitied. We should "fix our eyes on Him, our soul's reward" and press towards the goal that is eternity with God.

I have only lived for 23 years but those 23 years have taught me that there is nothing in this world worth living for. Everything is saturated with sin, layers after layers of sin. Around each bend there is something new waiting to hurt and disappoint. Without the knowledge of God and His Gospel, I can honestly say that I would probably not be alive today. I've often marveled at how unbelievers manage to get out of bed in the morning...for without my Savior I wouldn't bother. There would simply be no point.

Sisters, we are children of an ancient promise, renewed every day. We have a hope that most do not, and yet so often we live as we don't. Our mouths declare our faith in God while our actions and thoughts and heart attitudes declare our skepticism. We believe that He is our soul's reward and yet we need so much more to keep us happy now. We speak of living a life of faith rather than sight but then make grandiose plans for our lives and crumble when something goes 'wrong.'

Lord, you are my soul's reward, all that is necessary for my happiness. I confess multitudes of times when I despaired, when You saw fit to take something from me for my good and your glory, and I couldn't see how it would work out. I confess the times that I went searching for joy apart from You and Your being. I love you more than all else and I truly do not know how to exist apart from you. Keep me ever before the cross, Father. Bring me to my knees before your throne whenever I try to take control of my life. What a futile effort, to take control from you! Grow my knowledge of you, Father, until your presence is so big in my life that You fill every corner of my vision, 'til no matter where I turn, there you are. Come back soon, Lord Jesus, for I am weak. I long for the day when I can exist in your strength free from the blinders of sin. Come back soon. I love you.

"Therefore, since we have so great a cloud of witnesses surrounding us, let us also lay aside every encumbrance and the sin which so easily entangles us and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, fixing our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of faith, who for the joy set before Him endured the cross, despising the shame, and has sat down at the right hand of the throne of God." Hebrews 12"1-2

Remember Me O God

I just finished reading the book of Nehemiah for my daily bible reading. At the end of the book, Nehemiah returns from Persia and finds that the Jews in Jerusalem (specifically the priests and leaders of the people) have gone astray from following God and have intermarried with foreigners and allowed idols into the temple again, etc. He corrects these wrongs and chastises those responsible and calls them all to turn from their evil ways back to following God and His laws with a whole heart. After 3 separate accounts of how he challenges sin and stands up for "right", he calls upon God to remember him and to bless him. Here's what it says:

Nehemiah 13:14 "Remember me for this, O my God, and do not blot out my loyal deeds which I have performed for the house of my God and its services."

Nehemiah 13:22b "For this also remember me, O my God, and have compassion on me according to the greatness of Your lovingkindness."

Nehemiah 13:31b "Remember me, O my God, for good."

This really got my attention and caused me to think. Will I stand up for what God says is good and right even in the face of potential conflict? Will I do it simply out of reverence for God and trust in Him that He will deliver me and provide for me whatever outcome is best?

Honestly though, I do not have many situations where people will mock and scorn me (to my face) for my beliefs. The bigger issue in my life is whether I will choose to do what is right and good, entrusting myself to God to bring about the best outcome. I don't live with some great fear that my neighbors will mock me and reject me because I tell them that Jesus is my Savior. However, when it comes down to the daily choices that I make - for example whether to submit to my husband with a smile and a contented heart - then I really see the application for my bible reading from Nehemiah.

For Nehemiah, he called upon God to bless him and remember him for good because he was in the midst of conflict with the people of Israel, but I must call upon God to bless me and remember me for good because I am in the midst of conflict within myself: namely, do I obey God and place myself in a position of weakness or do I obey my flesh and fight for my own desires. Nehemiah loved God and valued the gloriousness of God over his own desires so for Him the only good and right option (because of His God given role) was to challenge the sin going on around him and entrust himself to God. For me if I love God and value His gloriousness, then the good and right thing for me to do (because of my God given role) is to submit to God and as such my husband with all respect and honor. As such, I must focus my heart upon God and cry out with Nehemiah for God to see my obedience and to remember me in His lovingkindness, for good.

O God, strengthen me and lead me by your Holy Spirit to obey You with all reverence especially when it is difficult and then Father; remember me for good according to the greatness of your lovingkindness.

Trust

Job 1 "There was a man in the land of Uz whose name was Job; and that man was blameless, upright, fearing God and turning away from evil.

Seven sons and three daughters were born to him.

His possessions also were 7,000 sheep, 3,000 camels, 500 yoke of oxen, 500 female donkeys, and very many servants; and that man was the greatest of all the men of the east.

His sons used to go and hold a feast in the house of each one on his day, and they would send and invite their three sisters to eat and drink with them.

When the days of feasting had completed their cycle, Job would send and consecrate them, rising up early in the morning and offering ^I)">(burnt offerings according to the number of them all; for Job said, "Perhaps my sons have sinned and cursed God in their hearts." Thus Job did continually.

Now there was a day when the sons of God came to present themselves before the LORD, and Satan also came among them.

The LORD said to Satan, "From where do you come?" Then Satan answered the LORD and said, "From roaming about on the earth and walking around on it."

The LORD said to Satan, "Have you considered My servant Job? For there is no one like him on the earth, a blameless and upright man, fearing God and turning away from evil."

Then Satan answered the LORD, "Does Job fear God for nothing?

"Have You not made a hedge about him and his house and all that he has, on every side? You have blessed the work of his hands, and his possessions have increased in the land.

"But put forth Your hand now and touch all that he has; he will surely curse You to Your face."

Then the LORD said to Satan, "Behold, all that he has is in your power, only do not put forth your hand on him." So Satan departed from the presence of the LORD.

Now on the day when his sons and his daughters were eating and drinking wine in their oldest brother's house,

a messenger came to Job and said, "The oxen were plowing and the donkeys feeding beside them,

and the Sabeans attacked and took them. They also slew the servants with the edge of the sword, and I alone have escaped to tell you."

While he was still speaking, another also came and said, "The fire of God fell from heaven and burned up the sheep and the servants and consumed them, and I alone have escaped to tell you."

While he was still speaking, another also came and said, "The Chaldeans formed three bands and made a raid on the camels and took them and slew the servants with the edge of the sword, and I alone have escaped to tell you."

While he was still speaking, another also came and said, "Your sons and your daughters were eating and drinking wine in their oldest brother's house,

and behold, a great wind came from across the wilderness and struck the four corners of the house, and it fell on the young people and they died, and I alone have escaped to tell you."

Then Job arose and tore his robe and shaved his head, and he fell to the ground and worshiped.

He said,
"Naked I came from my mother's womb,
And naked I shall return there
The LORD gave and the LORD has taken away.
Blessed be the name of the LORD."

Through all this Job did not sin nor did he blame God"

Blessed Be Your Name
In the land that is plentiful
Where Your streams of abundance flow
Blessed be Your name

Blessed Be Your name
When I'm found in the desert place
Though I walk through the wilderness
Blessed Be Your name

Every blessing You pour out
I'll turn back to praise
When the darkness closes in, Lord
Still I will say

Blessed be the name of the Lord
Blessed be Your name
Blessed be the name of the Lord
Blessed be Your glorious name

Blessed be Your name
When the sun's shining down on me
When the world's 'all as it should be'
Blessed be Your name

Blessed be Your name
On the road marked with suffering
Though there's pain in the offering
Blessed be Your name

Every blessing You pour out
I'll turn back to praise
When the darkness closes in, Lord
Still I will say

Blessed be the name of the Lord
Blessed be Your name
Blessed be the name of the Lord
Blessed be Your glorious name

Blessed be the name of the Lord
Blessed be Your name
Blessed be the name of the Lord
Blessed be Your glorious name

You give and take away
You give and take away
My heart will choose to say
Lord, blessed be Your name

How would you have reacted?

Fight for Faith: pondering Exodus

How often do we look at a situation that is arising and predict “doom” as the outcome? Or how often are we presented with an opportunity to either believe good about a person or believe bad about a person… and then when that person lets us down, we think ,”I knew that this was going to happen”. How often do we not trust God to work all things for good, even though we have seen Him do it a hundred times before?

Today reading Exodus 14, I came across this passage and was convicted over a recurring sense of hopelessness and despondency that I have been struggling with. In this passage the Israelites have just left Egypt (after witnessing all the huge things that God did to show His might, power and majesty to them and the Egyptians).They find out that the Egyptians have changed their mind about letting them go and are in hot pursuit with the armies of Pharaoh. Here’s how they respond.

Exodus 14:10-12 As Pharaoh drew near, the sons of Israel looked, and behold, the Egyptians were marching after them, and they became very frightened; so the sons of Israel cried out to the LORD. Then they said to Moses, "Is it because there were no graves in Egypt that you have taken us away to die in the wilderness? Why have you dealt with us in this way, bringing us out of Egypt? "Is this not the word that we spoke to you in Egypt, saying, 'Leave us alone that we may serve the Egyptians '? For it would have been better for us to serve the Egyptians than to die in the wilderness."

Wow… does that sound familiar? They didn’t believe in God’s faithfulness, in His power or in His promises to deliver them and bring them to a new land filled with His wonders. They immediately forget how God has already delivered them from Egypt and they forget their nation’s history… (the whole Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob thing… not to mention the big famine and Joseph which brought them to Egypt in the first place and saved them from certain death which would have kept this whole generation from being born!) So now they are frightened and rebellious. But here is how God (through Moses) responds.

Exodus 14:13-14 But Moses said to the people, "Do not fear! Stand by and see the salvation of the LORD which He will accomplish for you today; for the Egyptians whom you have seen today, you will never see them again forever. "The LORD will fight for you while you keep silent."

Moses tells them to trust in the Lord because He will fight for them. This is noteworthy to me. The Israelites were facing a potential battle; a real battle. But when I am lacking faith and feeling hopeless and desperate; I am facing a battle, too! Whenever I am tempted to not believe God and sin (whether in attitude, thought or deed) I am in a battle. And the source of my victory is this: God will fight for me. Just like He did for the Israelites who were lacking faith, God will intercede with His great power on our behalf if we are His children. But should I sit down and wait to see what God is going to do? Do I become paralyzed until I am able to see how God will resolve either the fearful situation or my sinful unbelief? No… Here’s what He tells the Israelites:

Exodus 14:15-16 Then the LORD said to Moses, "Why are you crying out to Me? Tell the sons of Israel to go forward. "As for you, lift up your staff and stretch out your hand over the sea and divide it, and the sons of Israel shall go through the midst of the sea on dry land.”

At this point I was wondering what the deal was with God’s response. John Mac Arthur says (in my study bible) that “, The Lord’s promise of deliverance overruled all despair and sense of hopelessness.” It sounds to me like God’s promise of deliverance should be overruling all despair, but it wasn’t because they weren’t focused on it. So God is telling them to look for His deliverance and pursue it. He tells them to act by faith. Moses is told to divide the sea and the people of Israel are told to walk on in! ? ! That takes faith.

And similarly we are told to get a-move-on. God has shown His faithfulness… He has promised to fight for us… now go out and walk by faith… act; obey; walk into the sea. Stop complaining and lamenting things not going the way you desired and see that God is doing good, through it all. See that God might bring forth a situation that is difficult so that He can bring a wonderful victory through it and as such, show forth His glory! Just like in the case of the Israelites:

Exodus 14:31 When Israel saw the great power which the LORD had used against the Egyptians, the people feared the LORD, and they believed in the LORD and in His servant Moses.

The greatest victory that I can see is not in the deliverance of the Israelites from Egypt and Pharaoh’s army. God could have done that without so much trouble. The biggest victory is that God worked in such a way as to cause His people to see Him… I mean to really see Him and fear Him and believe in Him! He strengthened their faith so that they would glorify Him. This is what God is doing in the lives of His children. He (through the Holy Spirit) is fighting to strengthen our faith so that we will show forth His glory to all of those around us. It so gracious and merciful that God would care for us, and it shows forth His love and faithfulness that He continues to be faithful when we are not and that He fights the good fight of faith on our behalf when we are lost in our sin and pride (despair and unbelief). And let’s don’t forget that His purpose in doing all of this is for His glory! We don’t properly testify of His beauty and surpassing value if we are full of ourselves, despondent, despairing or paralyzed with fear. So He strengthens our faith as a means to testify of His glory.

Here are some verses from my Sunday school class on the Faithfulness of God to keep His promises, specifically regarding His promise to fight for His people.

Hebrews 13:6 So we say with confidence, “The Lord is my helper; I will not be afraid. What can man do to me?”

Psalm 46:1 God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble.

Isaiah 64:4 Since ancient times no one has heard, no ear has perceived, no eye has seen any God besides You, who acts on behalf of those who wait for Him.

Trusting God

Romans 8:32 "He who did not spare His own Son, but delivered Him over for us all, how will He not also with Him freely give us all things?"

This week in Sunday School, my class and I discussed trusting God in all circumstances. As usual, the lesson I was teaching served to convict me as I studied and prepared to present it. I read many verses, such as the one above, and was struck over and over again by the fact that the only part of me that it lasting is my soul. The only part of me that is eternal is my soul. The most important and valuable part of me is my soul.

And I have trusted Jesus to save my soul.

How can I not freely trust Him with all other things?

If you are anything like me, you struggle with worry and anxiety on a daily basis. It can be something as small as worry that you won't arrive to class on time (even though you left the exact same time you do every day, and every day you arrive fifteen minutes early) or something as big as a health issue that is getting worse or a personal financial crisis.
If you are anything like me, you find yourself worrying about these things as though God does not have any control over them, or as if God has control but lacks the time or willingness to act. We need to be daily reminding ourselves to trust in God. Because, if we truly believe that He has given us His own Son to die for us to save us from our sins - then how much more will He freely provide for our needs!

Luke 12:6-7 "Are not five sparrows sold for two cents? Yet not one of them is forgotten before God. Indeed, the very hairs of your head are all numbered. Do not fear; you are more valuable than many sparrows."

There are a myriad of ways that we can apply this to our daily lives. I will list a few of them here for your (and my) consideration and prayer:
1. Do you trust God enough to submit to your husband/father even when you disagree?
2. Do you trust God enough to respond to those around you in a loving manner?
3. Do you trust God enough to love others without being sure of receiving love in return?
4. Do you trust God enough to witness to friends, co-workers, and family?
5. Do you trust God enough to stand up for those being mistreated?
6. Do you trust God enough to do the right thing even in situations where you could get in trouble, made fun of, etc.?

Faith vs. Sight

My family and I just watched “The Chronicles of Narnia: Prince Caspian”, which has recently been released on DVD. Although I know there are some who do not like the movie for various reasons, :cough Nichole cough: , I personally did enjoy it. I laugh to myself when I think about how Walt Disney has one main motive in producing these movies: money. And yet they are a means to provoke thought and discussion in believers and unbelievers alike, all over the world. I am sure that there are many people who had never read the books or heard of the analogy that is contained in them; who marveled at the Lion that would lay down his life to rescue the traitorous Edmond in the first movie. Similarly, I am sure that there are many who watched the second movie and thought that Lucy was either crazy or seeing things when she proclaimed seeing Aslan when none of their group (or the movie watchers for that matter) had. What wonderful opportunities are presented through these movies to talk about the underlying themes in them with people who will watch an entertaining movie but would not have talked about the gospel or faith, etc. up until that point! So it is in light of this that I will share my reflections from this particular movie!

The biggest thing that stands out to me in this movie is the contrast between walking by faith and walking by sight. In the movie, Lucy sees Aslan (because she was looking for him) and as such looks at a situation such as crossing a deep gorge with no bridge and certain death at the bottom, with faith. Surely Aslan wants them to go that way and would provide the means for them, though it seems hopeless; is Lucy’s mindset. This is contrasted with Peter who has not seen Aslan since their return to Narnia. He too is faced with a situation that is both difficult and seems hopeless. They are preparing to go to war against a much greater foe and Aslan is nowhere to be found (though Lucy challenges that maybe it is because Peter isn’t looking for him). Only Lucy says that she has seen him and is believed by Edmond alone. Peter carries the weight of the lives of the Narnians and his own family in his hands or so he thinks. As they make their plans, Lucy challenges him and calls him to remember Aslan…. To remember that though they must battle, that it was Aslan who defeated the White Witch not them. This is amazing and I hope not overlooked by those watching the movie. What a great reminder that we as believers have to trust in Christ as our strength, wisdom and guide rather than ourselves. Of course later in the movie when the Narnians are at their greatest need for deliverance, Aslan sends help and ultimately saves the day and the Narnians as well. In the end it is not the might of man that delivers one from a gruesome battle, but rather Aslan using the faith of a child (Lucy) who will risk all to seek and follow him. This was a great encouragement and reminder to me and I hope it will be to all of you as well.

Missing You…

My husband is in Cameroon Africa right now. It’s odd how my thoughts have changed since he has gone. I now think in 2 time zones simultaneously. I orient myself based upon what I am doing and what my husband might be doing at the same time. For example, while I am typing out this post it is late evening here and in Cameroon it is very early in the morning (say 5am-ish) so my husband is probably still sleeping or maybe just waking up. I pray that he has slept peacefully and gotten good rest so that he can be equipped for whatever the day may hold for him. I pray that he can accomplish much today and that He will honor and glorify God and minister faithfully to the Yongs and the other people he will encounter. I will continue in this manner of thought as I prepare for sleep and throughout the morning tomorrow; then I will start over again (Lord willing) tomorrow evening. In this whole circle of events, I liken our marriage to that of our relationship to Christ. And in that I am saddened as I realize how I am generally more moved to prayer over temporary and relatively inconsequential things, than over broader, eternal things… Kingdom type issues.

Peter said we are aliens and strangers in the world. And right now, I understand that. I feel like my world is upside down. My husband is on the other side of the world and I feel like I am present in the body but detached from the things going on around me (at least to a large degree). My other half is separated from me and I feel the loss (Lord willing- temporary as it may be). But isn’t this how I should feel every day, not because I’m apart from my earthly husband, but because I am separated from my heavenly husband Christ by this body of death… this body that cannot fully contain His glory. Shouldn’t I long for the reunion with my heavenly husband so much that I ache within my heart and lament the temporary limitations that restrict my full enjoyment of Him? Why don’t I find my thoughts straying very often in prayer to God that He would spread His gospel abroad to all the nations so that people may see His beauty which I so delight in? Why aren’t I drawn consistently to pray that He will do a good work today in the hearts of His missionaries and that He’ll refresh their spirits for His glory? How sad that I can’t help but be concerned for the good of my husband Ryan every waking moment, but am so often shallow in my thoughts, desires, affections, and subsequent prayers for the spread of the “light of the glory of the gospel of Jesus Christ”. So to that end, though I am still missing my husband, I am also glad that God is using this period of separation to show me some things about myself that need to change and grow for the glory of God and for my own good as well as the good of those around me.

Have a blessed day and remember to enjoy your heavenly husband who gave Himself perfectly, sacrificially, and entirely for the redemption of our unworthy souls and to show forth the radiating beauty of God’s glorious plan.