A New Year!

As many students might agree, the "new year" doesn't start on January 1, but rather on September 8 (or whatever date your particular school starts on). I've decided to take the fresh start of the year as an opportunity to turn over a new leaf, so to speak, for my personal life. I'm hoping to make some dramatic changes, so perhaps posting it on this blog will help me be held accountable by my church family! :)

Our pastor has just recently finished a sermon series on self-control, which dealt quite a bit with laziness versus diligence and procrastination versus responsibility. I have felt incredibly convicted the past month or so about my own laziness, and I need to stop procrastinating (oh, the irony!) on getting my life together. A lot of people tell me the same thing when I confess my laziness: that I am so incredibly busy I could not possibly be a lazy person. Let me take a second to clarify: not true!! I am so lazy! I am learning to look at my life a bit more acutely and see that business does not equal diligence. During the school year, I typically leave the house at 7:30 or 8:30 in the morning, barely waking up on time. Then my day is typically filled with catching up on the prior day's assignments, which will be turned in within the next half hour or so, going to classes, sometimes without my materials (so I take notes in the wrong notebooks), and rehearsals and lessons, which I have not practiced for. Then I come home at perhaps 9 or 10 in the evening, sit around for a few hours because my brain is "fried" from the day, and go to bed without doing that day's homework or spending adequate time in the Word. What a horrible way to live!

I confess all this to you bloggers so you are not fooled by the responsible appearance I'm told that I have. I am a sinner, and it is most obvious in the ungrateful way I manage my time day after day, year after year. After much thought, I had decided a few weeks ago to make some changes that will, Lord willing, reflect the gospel in my life. My life is a testament to God's faithfulness, so my self-control in day-to-day living should reflect the perseverance of the saints that the New Testament continually refers to. I need to be a good steward so that I can more accurately reflect Christ! I'm reading through the gospels right now, and I am amazed at Jesus's unceasing work. Even when he was tired and withdrew from the crowd, there was always work for him to do, whether it be explaining the parables to His followers or praying to His Father. I want my life to be like His.

I've made a daily schedule in which I budgeted time to do all my homework, attend class, eat, sleep, practice, blog and journal, pray, and study Scripture. The last few weeks of summer were a joy to me because I saw fruit in my life with this self-control that God is graciously giving me. I had time to do everything that needed to get done (including the hard things! I scheduled those first!) as well as the things I wanted to do. I'm more willing to make cuts where necessary (something I struggle with) because I see what I physically cannot do due to over scheduling versus what I won't do because I'm lazy. God has been gracious to me!

Now with school beginning I hope to do the hard things first, be diligent, spread the gospel as much as possible, and, most importantly, LOVE CHRIST MORE. I pray that I will be able to do so, as He sustains me and gives me grace! God is good.

Exploring Wisdom

Do you think you’re wise and understanding? Does God think you’re wise and understanding? I was reading in James recently and here’s what I found. James 3:13 says “Who among you is wise and understanding? Let him show by his good behavior his deeds in the gentleness of wisdom.” Take note of the wording here… “gentleness of wisdom”. The passage goes on to say in verses 14-16 : “But if you have bitter jealousy and selfish ambition in your heart, do not be arrogant and so lie against the truth. This wisdom is not that which comes down from above, but is earthly, natural, demonic. For where jealousy and selfish ambition exist, there is disorder and every evil thing.” Notice that godly wisdom does not co-exist with an arrogant and selfishly ambitious heart.

Then the passage continues in James 3:17 where it says: “But the wisdom from above is first pure, then peaceable, gentle, reasonable, full of mercy and good fruits, unwavering, without hypocrisy.” So if I thought I was wise, then I need to take a deeper look into what God says wisdom looks like. It’s easy to look at the “text book” definition of wisdom (skillfully living according to God’s word) and figure that we’re wise (or at least ‘pretty wise’). We reason “I’m a believer. I try to obey God. I read my bible. I train up my kids in the way they should go. I’m involved at church. I’m pretty wise!” But look at how James speaks of wisdom. Ouch… maybe I need to fine-tune my way of assessing whether I’m wise in God’s eyes.

Am I arrogant (or prideful)? - Do I seek to exalt God and His holiness and His purposes or do I seek my own glory?

Am I selfishly ambitious? - Do I seek my own good or my own plans and agenda before others? Do I submit (without complaint and much arguing/discussion) to my leaders?

Am I pure? - Would purity be a good way to describe my speech, thought life, deeds, the things I watch, listen to, partake of, or dream about?

Am I peaceable? - Do I seek/pursue peace or do I stir up strife? How often do I have to “iron things out” with people because of a disagreement? Do I find myself involved in disagreements and/or debates with my fellow believers often?

Am I gentle? - Do I run over other people’s feelings or do I handle other’s with care, showing (and feeling) grace and compassion for them. Do I forget that other people have real struggles and concerns, fears and heartaches? Do I speak sweetly but inside feel cold to those whom I interact with?

Am I reasonable? - Can people reason with me? Do I submit my thoughts/feelings to God’s standards of what is good, right, true and acceptable or do I always have to justify my deeds? Do I pursue order in my thoughts, my deeds and in my life/surroundings?

Am I full of mercy and good fruits? - Do I act out compassion and grace as God has shown to me? God calls us to “visit orphans and widows”, to “extend our hands to the poor”. Do I feel compassion for the lost or the person who offends my senses? Does humility and humble service characterize my thoughts and actions?

Am I unwavering? - Am I steadfast, consistent- holding firmly to the rock of God’s truth? Do I know God’s word enough to not be blown “here and there by every wind of doctrine”? * Note this is in harmony with gentleness, mercy and peace seeking. It does not contradict the others. We must hold firm to God’s word, truth and authority over our lives while still being gentle, peaceable and merciful.

Am I without hypocrisy? - Do I practice what I preach? Do I tell others to read scripture or submit or not be lazy or trust in God and then not do it myself? (And make excuses for it or lessen my own sin?)

Those cause me to think a little harder about whether I am so wise as I thought. Since the temptation arises to defend or justify myself rather than admit failure and repent before the Lord; I will close with another verse from James.

James 1:22-25 “But prove yourselves doers of the word, and not merely hearers who delude themselves. For if anyone is a hearer of the word and not a doer, he is like a man who looks at his natural face in a mirror; for once he has looked at himself and gone away, he has immediately forgotten what kind of a person he was. But one who looks intently at the perfect law, the law of liberty, and abides by it, not having become a forgetful hearer but an effectual doer, this man shall be blessed in what he does.”