Not Nearly Humble Enough

As our Pastor has been preaching on humility, what has struck me the most is how little humility I see in my own life. Compared to Jesus I am not humble at all. Our Pastor has made it clear that we are just pursuing humility this side of heaven. When looking at the extreme humility of Jesus I can become discouraged. Everything He ever said or did as He walked upon this earth was done in an attitude of humility! This includes criticizing the Pharisees and tearing apart the booths and driving out the sellers at the Temple. When I say or do things, like rebuke and say hard words is it really from a heart that is driven to exalt God and with the attitude that is putting the needs the person that I might be correcting above my own? Do I listen when others correct me? Must I always be right? How often do I argue in person or via email, when someone doesn't see things my way? How easily are my feelings hurt when my input isn't wanted or ignored? These are not fun questions to answer. Pastor Matt has the list of questions he asked us to consider during one of the sermons during this series on hisXanga.

An area I know I struggle in is trusting God with my kids. I desire to raise them in the fear and admonition of the Lord. As I see my own weaknesses (realizing I don't see them all), I can really freak out. This is nothing but pride. For some reason there are times that I think if I just do all the right things my kids will be fine. This is not raising them in faith. This is not raising them in such a way that exalts the work of Jesus Christ. This is raising them so that I can exalt myself. If I do not parent in faith and consider the fact that I am doing things the right way, so my kids will not struggle the way so and so's kids struggle, pride is going to take over. You reap what you sow. I keep telling myself, if you sow pride in your heart you are going to reap the consequences of it. Even if I keep remarks about other peoples' parenting to myself, if I am still comparing my kids with theirs even in my heart someway or another it will come out. Maybe it will be in a haughty look, eventual words to others or to our children, teaching them to compare themselves favorably to others. I also think that I will reap it in my children. Pastor Matt reminded us, "humble yourself before God now, or He will humble you later". I need to keep myself in check because God just might humble me through my own children! Rather than having children that rise up and bless me with their lives, God has a right to humble me through their lives.

May God grant much mercy and grace to me as I endeavor to pursue humility in my parenting, and the many other areas which I did not share in this post.