Children: Joy or Drudgery

* Tomorrow we will give official word about the contest.

Now a post from quite a while back :

Motherhood: This is a very broad and beautiful topic. I love reading, listening to people chat and listening to lectures on this topic, there is a lot of good stuff out there. The Bible of course is the best place to get information in this subject. The Bible is not silent, it is very clear about what a woman's role is in raising children and celebratory in the way it speaks of mothering and children. So, when you think of motherhood, what is that you think about? What comes to mind? Are you inclined to think of work, responsibility, burden, sacrifice, more work? If so, you are not alone. You are not alone because it is true; being a good mom is hard work and it takes sacrifice. One person said this about mothering: "No job on earth takes more physical, mental, social, emotional and spiritual strength than being a good wife and mother. If a woman is looking for the easy life she might try teaching tennis, cutting diamonds, or joining a roller derby team. There is nothing easy about good mothering. It can be back breaking, heart wrenching, and anxiety producing. And that's just the morning."

Many mom's are probably saying “Amen”. We have all experienced sleepless nights, whether because we are feeding a newborn, have sick kids, or are worried sick about our older children who are struggling in this world.

But just because something is hard doesn't mean it is a joyless drudgery with very little pay off for all the work it takes.

In fact the Bible is clear that this task is neither joyless nor fruitless. But God knows our frame, He knows we are weak and selfish and easily discouraged, and He gives us Titus 2. Read Titus 2:3-5. Notice that phrase to love our children. That word love means tender affection. It means we enjoy our children, we are passionate about them, and desire to be around them and nurture them. We want their good above our own. You will also notice that it takes training. The older woman described in this passage is someone who is capable and willing to train others to have this kind of love for our children, because we get discouraged and lose this affection on the long, bumpy road called motherhood. That precious baby that you hold so gingerly and protectively at first, so easily becomes this energy sapping, body draining, sometimes heartbreaking burden. Why? Why don't we see motherhood the way we ,or if we do ,why do we find it hard to sustain the joy and passion we are called to? Why don't we “feel” fulfilled?

I am going to give you 4 reasons I think we have less than tender feeling in regards to motherhood. This is by no means extensive.

1. We do not meditate deeply on the love of God.

God loves His children, this is very clear. Eph. 5:1-2 says: Therefore be imitators of God, as beloved children; and walk in love, just as Christ also loved you and gave Himself up for us, an offering and a sacrifice to God as a fragrant aroma. God's love acts. Romans 5:8 says that He demonstrates His love in the sending of His own son for His enemies. He sent Him to die, to offer Himself as a sacrifice – a payment for our sins. For the sins of those who did not love Him. And Jesus willingly and lovingly gave Himself up. He knew no sin and was made sin on our behalf so that we who were far from God would be brought near to Him. We sin by disobeying and ignoring our greatest good- God. And yet, He sent Jesus to pay the wages we owe God for our sin so that we can enjoy God – the lover of our souls forever. He is good and those who are His get to experience this love and shepherding. He supplies all that we need according to His riches and glory. He nurtures our souls through His word and teaches through His Spirit. He disciplines us for our good, to bring about the peaceful fruit of righteousness in our lives. We know that if God gave us His only beloved Son he will not withhold any good thing from us. This includes discipline, so that we experience the ability to know more of His tender grace. Because even though His love is a choice, it is not without affection. Jesus wept over Jerusalem longing to protect them and gather them just like a hen would her chicks. This is kind of love we receive from God and the love that we are called to comprehend with all the saints. A love that cannot be measured. And this love that He lavishes on us should overflow to our children. We can tell them God loves them all we want, but we make it harder to understand and accept when we fall short in loving them.. We are the hands and feet of God's love.

2. We allow our culture to give us our view of children rather than the Word of God.

Our culture tells us that children will be a burden that isn't worth it. They hold you back from your full potential and leave you a less than adequate contributor to society. You are considered a large family if you have more than 2 children and a dog. You are expected to do better than raise children. Mothering in a sense is something to do in your spare time. But God paints a different picture about having children.

Psalm 127:3-5: Behold children are a gift from the Lord, the fruit of the womb is a reward. Like arrows in the hand of a warrior, so are the children of one's youth. How blessed is the man whose quiver is full of them; they will not be ashamed when they speak with their enemies at the gate.

God says he gave you a child as a GIFT! A child or children are rewards! They are good things and a precious thing to have. They are not burdens and just a load of work that isn't worth it. This is God's good gift and reward for you. Being a mommy isn't something to be ashamed of, it is something to rejoice about and love. Children are something to get excited about and thank God for. And for you guys with kids, let them know it. I love to tell my kids that they are special gift from God to me.

3. We neglect to raise them for God in His way.

If being a parent is such a good thing, why do we see so many parents tired, ashamed and angry especially as their children get older?

Proverbs 23:23-24 say: The father of the righteous will greatly rejoice and he who sires a wise son will be glad in him. Let your mother and father be glad, and let her rejoice who gave birth to you.

You want to rejoice and be glad. Raise a wise son/daughter.

A foolish son is a grief and bitterness to the one who gives birth to him. Pr. 17:25.

So how do you raise a wise child? God says the rod and reproof. Pr. 29:15 says: The rod and reproof give wisdom, but a child who gets his own way brings shame to his mother.

If a child, whether an infant and toddler, and young kid or a teenager is used to getting what he wants when he wants and is never given boundaries or these boundaries are always negotiable you can be certain to raise a fool. If your child lacks consequences to sinful and selfish acts you can be sure that you are raising a fool and worse than that the bible says in doing so you desire his death. And the only thing you can hope for is to be shamed.

So discipline your child while there is still hope. Do it for his good and because you love him. Give him his way and you will teach him that that there is very little consequence for bad decisions and there is little reason to have hope for that child.

Do not stop at discipline; you are also to nurture him in the Lord. Discipline is the first step and a continual companion to declaring the works of God to your child. (Read Psalm 78) Teach them to obey so that they will obey the gospel call. Speak much about Jesus in your home. Teach them the word and surround yourself and your children with the people of God. God's word is sharper than any two-edged sword. The word will lead your child to salvation. Talk about God and what He has done in your family and other's lives and talk about Him in what is going on in the world around you. Take every opportunity to point your children to the hope that does not disappoint. I find with my young children walks outside, sick family and struggling church members give great opportunities to speak about glorious grace and power of God. Discipline is an awesome time to teach about Jesus taking our disciplines that we deserve and teach them about the complete and wonderful forgiveness found in Jesus alone. Pray often for your child's salvation and walk with God. Pray in front of them so they hear your heart for them. God is the only one that can save. So plead with Him for your children and in faith train them, discipline them and talk about God with them because we know that this is the means God uses to lead our children to Him

4. Pride.

We love ourselves. Pride is self love- self worship. Pride says we are better than we are and makes us God's enemies. Pride is destructive and God is the one who destroys us because of it.

As parents or mom's to be, we must keep this in mind. Pride is a real joy killer!

Pride will say “I know”. Either out loud or in your heart.

Pride will cause you to compare yourself to other mom's and say you are better. Anytime you think you are something great, you can rest assure that pride is present in that moment.

Pride looks at Titus 2 where we are called to be trained and it looks around and says, “There is no one here who can offer me anything!”

Pride will make you a terrible student.

If you do not know anyone who you think can help you to be a better mother, you will be robbed of great joy and consistent tender feelings toward your children. Proverbs 13:10 says: Through insolence comes nothing but strife, but wisdom is with those that receive counsel.

Did you get that? Receive counsel! Do you surround yourself with women who can teach you and are you receiving it. Or do you think you know it all or at least more than anyone else around you?

Surround yourself with women that look like the women described in Titus 2. Not perfect women, but women who are concerned with honoring the word of God, women who are learning and working toward and consistently, though not perfectly, living a disciplined life. Find a woman who is willing to open up her life to you – warts and all so she can come alongside you and warn you off of her mistakes and show the wisdom she has gained through experience and the word.

And I would challenge you to work towards becoming one of those women. Pride will keep you from it. So put away pride and listen and learn.

To those who want to be listened to and yet people don't want to, examine why. Is it perhaps because you come off arrogant and critical. Do you feel like it is your job to correct everybody else's children when the parent is standing right there, because you are God's gift to parenting after all? You make it harder for people to receive your counsel even when it's good when you act like that. And it robs you of the joy of helping other women experience the consistent joy of motherhood. You will find that even if your kids aren't perfect and you have flaws you are easier to listen to because you are tender, kind and humble.

Moms, let's love our children. Do not let any one tell you they are a burden, they are a joy. Being a mom is fun, fulfilling, rewarding. But it must be done God's way and we must guard against the things that rob us of that joy!

So, meditate deeply on the love God has lavished upon you and see how God views children and let that control your view of them and this task of mothering. Be a woman of His word, motherhood is no excuse to neglect it, a in neglecting the word you will be weak in your meditation and therefore; your love.

In faith, discipline and train your child God's way, so that you can be a rejoicing mother; rather than ashamed.

And humble yourself enough to surround yourself with women who can teach you and listen!

And then love passionately, deeply and tenderly. Your labor of love will be rewarding!