"The most powerful way to keep your child from being attracted by the offers of camaraderie with the wicked is to make home an attractive place to be. Young people do not run from places where they are loved and know unconditional acceptance. They do not run away from homes where there are solid relationships. They do not run from homes in which the family is planning activities and doing exciting things." -Tedd Tripp (Shepherding a Child's Heart)
As a mom with 5 kids this is something that stands out to me. I'd like to hear what people think about this. Do you agree or disagree with Mr. Tripp? Why or why not?
I would love for some of you to share stories about your families. How did you parents strengthen the trust and love in your family? Was home a place of peace, where you knew you were loved and accepted? For those who grew up in christian homes, was the gospel central in the home? How clear was that to you and why was it, if was? Why not, if it wasn't?
Would you mind sharing any fond memories you have just to testify of God's goodness? Believing family or not.
Thank you!
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4 comments:
Oh boy, do I ever agree with Mr. Tripp. Tony and I have already talked about how we want our home to fun and inviting and open to all our childrens' friends. We don't ever want them to feel like we don't want their friends to come over. As long as our children are hanging out at our home, we can keep a watchful eye on them and provide a safe place for them to socialize.
I also agree with Mr. Tripp and Kendal. I would also add that I think it's important for parents to separate what is sin from what isn't. Let me explain.
Kids are kids and teenagers are teenagers. They will do stupid things that seem really smart or fun or whatever to them at the time. As adults (and especially parents!) it is easy to see the utter foolishness of these actions and it is easy to come down on the child for doing it. I think a lot of kids start to hide what they are doing (even if it isn't a big deal!) from their parents simply because they know that they will get a lecture for doing it - regardless of whether or not it is sin. Obviously I think parents should tell their kids when they are being foolish and not just let them run around cluelessly. But I think that the way parents approach these topics is key to ensuring that the child continues to communicate with the parents.
Kids should feel comfortable sharing these kinds of experiences with their parents and not be scared of the reaction they will get. I think this is a huge part of 'making a home inviting.'
..and I agree with Nichole's addition as well!
Girls, thank you for your input. I have been thinking about this statement in light of the gospel.
We know that it is the gospel of Jesus Christ that can transform the heart and therefore shape a home. We as parents must lay down the law, if you will, and discipline. But I think you hit the nail on the head with the way we approach it. I think if we teach boundaries and are diligent to discipline from a young age, there will be a backdrop to teach grace to them in a way they can understand it. But even at the stage of much discipline without reasoning with a child (because you just can not reason with a toddler) our attitude will be evident as we administer these boundaries and discipline. We will be guided by the gospel and speak it to them with love and joy. And, I believe that if we establish trust and love in our homes at an early age it is easier to maintain that as they get older. If a child is frequently yelled at and dismissed as if they are too difficult to be around, then true love and trust, and desire to be around you fades away. I have seen many a wonderful family struggle simply because parents are unapproachable. By this, I mean that there rarely seems to be a good time to approach a subject; particularly one that may be difficult and cause some conflict. Whether our children are young or old; cranky moms and dads are left in the dark and are run from emotionally and spiritually as their child/children get older. I admit that I was thinking "who cares if you do not do exciting activities as a family as long as you live out the gospel." But I think gospel centered parents enjoy their children and can express that through making life enjoyable to the degree they can. We may not do fancy and expensive, because time and money do not permit; nonetheless we should reflect the determined and truth filled joy we have in our great savior. That means when sin is present and trials beset us, the knowledge of who our God is reflects in our attitudes and approach to life. The joy we have should be expressed freely to our children, they are after all good gifts from Him--do they know that?
Kendal, I think you and Tony have a great desire. I hope that you are able to establish that in your home. It seems like it would certainly give you redemptive moments with your child and even with his friends.
Rick and I are determined to establish trust now. I think much of that will come as they watch our marriage. Do they see the gospel reflected in our marriage? We try to live out our marriage before them as much as possible. I truly desire my children to see and understand that I deeply respect their daddy and I obey out of trust in Jesus. Rick wants them to see him live with me in an understanding manner, loving me and helping me grow as a disciple of Jesus Christ. We desire them to see joy and earnestness in our prayers and in our devotion to the body of Jesus Christ. We want them to see us repent of sin and forgive others and I think that goes a long way in establishing trust and love in the home. I have more thoughts. Maybe you guys do too. I'd love to hear them. I am tired and a bit sick right now. Maybe I can share more later or clarify.
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