Life in the "Tunnel"

It's amazing how little things that seem so important can really be not so important. Today as I sit in my house and type I am surrounded by something that has been scarce in my home for years ... almost ten years: trim. My house has been undergoing renovations almost since we bought it eleven years ago. We have changed almost everything in our house and over the course of our stay here we eventually got many things done but few things entirely finished. As such, we were living without any trim (baseboards, window casing, etc.) for quite a few years. I can tell you that many times in the past I have so strongly desired that the projects finally be finished and come to an end that at times I have made it an idol and sinned when it didn't happen the way I wanted it to. Yet today I see a light at the end of the tunnel and you know what my life looks like at end of that tunnel? Pretty much the same as it did yesterday.

You see, my flesh wanted me to believe that I would really be happier living in a house that is finished than living in a state of ongoing repair. My flesh told me that if I didn't have things the way that I wanted them to be that life would never be complete and satisfying, but the reality is much different than what my flesh would have me believe. The reality is that I can never be satisfied if I am seeking my happiness in a finished project or ten finished projects. I can never be satisfied if I am seeking happiness in anything other than Christ. The problem wasn't my house or my husband who wasn't working at my desired time schedule... the problem was and is me. In a few weeks my house will be (Lord willing) entirely finished; or as finished as it will ever be under our ownership. And I'll still be the same woman who is struggling to worship Jesus more than stuff or comfort. So when we sell this house and buy a new one, whether it's a fixer-upper or a brand new one, I'll still have to decide everyday who or what I will worship. Will I decide that I will worship my house, my plans, my comfort, myself, or will I decide to worship God? Whom or what I choose to worship will determine my affections, thoughts and actions just like it does today. So, much to my chagrin, life "at the end of the tunnel" is the same as it was in the tunnel. The surroundings may have a new color scheme to them, but ultimately the "ride" is either bumpy or smooth based upon my heart of submission and obedience to God.

When the day ends, I will not sleep better because my trim is finished and my walls are painted and that hole in the stair wall is patched. I'll sleep well because my God is sovereign and is watching over me with His tender care. I praise God that the one constant while I am in the "tunnel" and out of the "tunnel" is Him... and as such life is good.