A Gracious Woman's Speech

As I have been thinking about what a gracious woman looks like, I can't help but think about our speech. What is in the heart comes out of the mouth. Our words, the way we say them, the manner and motives in which they are used tell us a lot about ourselves. So, as I have been evaluating my life and level of graciousness if you will, I have had to examine my speech and must continually examine my speech.

If I am gracious then my speech will have a certain quality to it. It will be kind, gentle, tender, sweet, and useful. Proverbs 16:24-23 says: The heart of the wise instructs his mouth and adds persuasiveness to his lips. Pleasant words are a honeycomb, sweet to the soul and healing to the bones. So I ask myself after I have spoken to someone, did my words and tone of voice seem pleasant to them? Did it do their soul an ounce of good? Did it bring healing to what was broken in them? Or, did I add to their misery or provoke them to irritation or anger?

I Have been asking myself: How does my husband perceive my words when I ask him a question, appeal to him about a decision, give my "perspective" on a situation and so on. Do my words encourage and refresh him? Do my words give him insight at necessary times, or do I just think I'm insightful?

How does my speech affect my children? Does my speech communicate love for them? Does my manner of speech obscure my message? Does it promote peace and self-control, or strife and anger? As I have been observing my children's speech patterns, meaning, how they question, tone of voice, facial expressions, I am not only trying to help them see how it reveals their hearts but I am trying to evaluate what speech patterns they are emulating from the home. Their speech does reflect their own heart, but it is also at times a good indicator of what tones and words they hear the most.

I am also trying to evaluate how my words affect other people in general. After I am done talking with a friend has anything I said helped, encouraged, strengthened and blessed them? Or, have I been offensive, put them on the defense, irritated, or provoked them to anger? I am not saying that at times where truths are spoken there is never a provocation to anger that isn't caused by the speaker themselves, but as far as it was possible for me, did I express genuine humility, gentleness, love and concern - did I speak the truth in love?

Ephesians 4:29 says: Let no unwholesome word proceed out of your mouth, but only such a word as is good for edification according to the moment, so that it will give grace to those who hearer (emphasis added). This means our words will benefit the hearer. The hearer will walk away without lacking what was needed to press on, they will be built up in the faith. Our word will be what they needed to hear not just a speech to show off my knowledge so they walk away discouraged, overwhelmed, angry, and stiff-necked.

A gracious woman is obvious because her speech reflects her heart. Her speech will be gracious. This is the type of woman people want to talk to. They know they will be heard. They know she has their best in mind, her tone reflects that. Her children don't shrink back from her. Her husband takes comfort and encouragement and insight from her speech. She is easy to talk to because her words are seasoned just right. They are tasty as one commentator said. (Colossians 4:6)

If I destroy, discourage and irritate people continually, I am not gracious.

What does my speech reflect about me? Am I a gracious woman?

These are serious things on my mind. I have a lot evaluating to do.

Oh, Lord may your grace so effect my heart that my words will reflect that and give grace to those who hear me. Make me a gracious woman. Amen.